feeling

Good evening everyone,

Today I woke up at 10.30 am, I had an audition at 1.50pm. I really didn’t want to go, I just wanted to lie in my bed and be ‘lazy’. But my auditions is part of my job and if I don’t go, I basically deny the work and that my friend I won’t let happen anymore. I went to the audition and I’ve learned a lot from it. I still haven’t received any call backs, but I am getting more confidence. As long as I keep going.

However, I felt bad and really didn’t like my audition at all. But like I’ve said before, I’ve learned a lot from it. Every audition, every step that I take is one step closer to my goal. I am getting more experience. I only get experience by doing. And in consequence I will gain more confidence.

I did the groceries and now I am cleaning up my apartment. I felt a bit lonely and wanted to talk to someone. But who to talk to? And what should I say? That I feel lonely and feed my miserable feeling? NO. I don’t want to do that anymore. Instead I clean up my apartment, write on my blog and watch a great film. I do have to edit my headshot and work more on my craft. But I do need a bit of a rest, as I have worked yesterday till 12am. And I don’t want to push myself too much and then as a result of that I want to quit. It should be step by step.

So I feel a bit lonely and a bit discouraged, but that’s okay. It happens. At least I’m not giving into temptations anymore.

I have to remind myself why I am doing this, what’s my purpose and long term goal? Getting closer to myself. Being productive, active, healthy and wealthy.

I don’t have ‘friends’ anymore, meaning that I eliminated a lot of people. I used to call a lot of people, but it’s just feeding more negativity. And afterwards I feel even more miserable. So anyways, it’s a temporary feeling. It will go away. I hope so. We’ll see.

Love you all, take care.

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