Focus on myself

Good afternoon everyone!

Wow I’m a bit frustrated, but that’s because I was focusing again on someone else, which was in this instance my sister. It seemed like she’s not doing anything in order to get to the next level. This same incident happened last year and I lost myself through this. Turned out, she did the things, only I didn’t see that. She’s not the type who says things. Bottom line here is, I might think that the other person is not doing anything and I try to push them to do something. Because you don’t want to do it alone, you don’t want to build something alone, you want to do it together. But everybody has it’s own pace. And from pushing someone else, other than yourself, is energy draining. I did it and suddenly I lost my incentive to move on, to build something for myself.

Now my sister has been a great influence in my life and she has taught me a lot about life. And is still teaching me about life, unknowingly or knowingly. I’ve been living with her in LA for 3 years now. But I can’t think that she will be there for me all the time. Now if I want to be something, I really have to do it myself. I mean I cannot rely on her, she is absolutely entitled to do anything she wants to do. Oh God, I can see what’s going on. And I really have to stop. I have to stop focusing on her, and stop being concerned. Yes, she is younger than me, but often she had guided me mentally and spiritually.

I went to the Women’s bible study today and I am getting closer to God, which is exactly what I want. That’s the most important thing. Going for what I want.

Ohh God, I had such an awful dream. That those people who didn’t know anything and became friends with me, acquired knowledge and motivation and they were suddenly here in LA and expanded their business and getting ahead of me. WOW, I really should not feed it. I haven’t checked their profiles or anything today. I will continue to do that and focus on my tasks. I do have a tremendous amount of fear, but I shouldn’t fear. Instead of fear, I should have faith. Faith that joyful moments will arrive. What will happen will happen. By complaining, I’m just wasting my time.

Instead, I will continue to do what I can do today. Again quote:

If I hold on to my history, I do it at the expense of my destiny

It’s going to be fine. I have to trust myself. Okay, no problem. I just have to do my tasks and focus on my journey.

God, I hope I can make it through this day and only focusing on myself.

This is a lesson. A big lesson. I won’t repeat what I have done in the past. I have learned from it. It’s okay. Life is about learning.

God bless you.


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