My past came knocking on the door today. I thought it would be nice, since I’ve missed that certain part, but in fact, it was not nice at all. I feel strange. All I can say is, that it is best to let it be and not touch it anymore. My morning started out great and I felt very blessed, I still feel blessed. Things happen and I have to deal with the consequences. All I can say is that if I did something wrong, knowingly or unknowingly, I am doing my very best to make up for it.
Me and my sister have filled three Shoebox gifts for children in need at Good shepherd Center. I pray, try to be kind everyday. The only thing I did wrong, is hanging out with that person, which I shouldn’t have done. I didn’t know that the person wasn’t pure. But because I wanted to ‘feel’, I did it anyways and it was ugly what was knocking on my door today. The beautiful past in my mind, was actually a dead past. Something that I want to let go of.
I actually have done nothing wrong, I just wanted love. I just expected it from the wrong person. But like I said, I have closed it 3 months ago. And I still stand by my decision. Even though my thoughts were beautifying the past with that person, I have to face the ugly reality. That person is definitely not what he appeared to be.
It’s Thanksgiving and I have been receiving beautiful gifts from God. I have been meeting beautiful people in life. I choose the goodness of life. I deserve it. We all deserve goodness.
I am taking a deep breath and letting it all go. It’s okay, I have made the right decision. That’s what I know for sure.
I keep giving and giving and giving, forgive me, if I’ve done something wrong, forgive me. I know that God has forgiven me, since I am receiving beautiful things. I think it’s time to forgive myself.
That’s what I wish that I am able to forgive myself. The only way is to give something back. Don’t pity myself, don’t let thoughts deter me or lock myself inside with my thoughts. Instead spread the love, give it all back to the community.
I am meeting very kind and generous people. They are so kind, they touched my hart. I’ve all met them through church, those are the people I want to hang out with. Who don’t put people down and think about revenge and negativity, but give something back to the community, contribute and give love. Giving unconditional love. Those are the people I want to be with. I love them and I thank God that I have met them. I love my parents and love my sister.
I am very grateful for the present, I thank God for all the decisions he has made. I cannot thank God enough. I thank God for giving me this life, this journey. I thank God that he has given me good people and got rid of all the people who weren’t pure. I thank God for giving me the opportunity to follow my dream. And I thank God for expressing myself through this blog and reaching you.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart, I’m really taking steps of becoming a better person.
With love, happy Thanksgiving!