I miss him

Hi dear ones,

It’s 10th of December, I’m just about to sign with a second agent. Now I have a commercial and a print agent. My chances of getting booked are now higher. My sag-aftra project has been accepted and I have a table read with my cast this Friday. I will shoot it next week. And last but not at least my short film, has been finally selected for a large film festival in California. Yes, just a couple of weeks left before we hit 2015 and I’m getting some what my sweet results.

It’s beautiful, I’m also getting out more and meeting more people. Getting a lot of male attention and getting new friends.

But….I know…..there is a but. I should be happy and I am. I am getting closer to what I want. I’ve got wonderful parents and a sister who love me dearly.

But he‘s not with me. He‘s not my friend anymore. I miss him so much. Even though, he never understood me quite frankly. I always wished him well. Yes, I have realized that love means letting go. And if it means that we are far more better off, being separate, then so be it. Maybe in another century, we might come together. I hope we can be together, unfortunately not in this life, I’ve tried my best, but I hope in another life. I hope we will be forever together, appreciate and understand each other.

I keep going. Usually I would just call him, even though he would put me down. However, I stepped out of the illusion and ‘jumped’ into reality. Still, I miss him so much. I love him.

I love my life and I am living my dream. From the outside, my life seems so complete and perfect. I always had this feeling, that I missed something. I miss him. But I can definitely not complain. I’ve got a good life and I am grateful for that. I have a roof above my head and I’ve got food. I don’t have to worry about that.

Maybe my ‘love’ is still out there, my ‘true’ love, what ever that ‘true love’ is. Perhaps I will meet him. I just have to trust.

Anyway, anything is possible my beautiful friends. My film finally got selected and I’ve signed with 2 well recognized agencies.

I will embrace my present and see what the future has in store for me. Which I am obviously creating. I won’t look back.  Keep going forward.

This life is about moments and you must create them. You must. No one will do it for you. I create my moments. That moment will come again. For sure. But just in a different way.

Lots of love

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