Scared

I am so scared, so immensely scared. I am scared that people will judge me, when they see me acting, I am scared that people will think I am a horrible actress, I’ve made an absolutely ridiculous comedy short film.

But what’s my alternative? I have to put this short film on Youtube, so I can get to the next step. Good or bad, I have to do it. Oh God, I am so scared. I am not a bad actress, but perhaps the cinematography, or writing is not that great. It might be awful. I won’t know, until I put it out there.

11 years ago, I went to an open podium and I danced. The majority loved it. But a couple of people were judging me. I couldn’t handle it and I stopped. I didn’t persevere performing arts anymore. I stopped. Then after 5 years again, I again picked it up. And now I am here in Los Angeles, working as an actress. It did hurt me when I stopped it, just because of some judgmental people. Other people I knew who were studying with me, continued and now they are at a very high level.

Everybody is going through the same thing. I am deadly scared, but I have to do it. I really have to take this step and let go. At least I have my family; my parents and my sister who always have my back. It’s just other people’s thoughts and words. Which is air. It’s just air, nothing else.

Oh God, give me the courage to follow my dream, to actually make it happen and to release my inner passion.

There is nothing else I want to do other than following my dream.

I hope I can do this. I really hope I can handle it.

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