Good Afternoon Chocolates,
I woke up with imagining great things, with a beautiful vision of how my life could be. That vision has brought trust into my life. This past month has been an eye opener for me. The year 2014 was calm and beautiful, I achieved what I had to achieve and had no issues regarding money. However, I did spend a lot and now I really have to find a way to earn more. I have cut a lot of my expenses and am working towards a long term financial goal.
I did feel depressed these past couple of months, because of my behavior, my sister didn’t want to live with me anymore. I was always frustrated, I’ve always wanted to be the center of attention, I had my own personal struggles and I was putting all the negative energy on her. I really was mean and now, I’ve realized that. I am my own obstacle. Last week she said, that she wanted to move out, that’s where reality hit me. I really had to take my own responsibility and find my own way. I could not rely on her anymore.
You know what they say, when they’re gone, then you understand how valuable they are, how blessed I actually was and am. However, there is still hope. I have been kind to her and have immediately changed my actions. Every time when she gets an audition or a booking, I’ll make sure that I stay positive. It’s her time and I give her that. The only thing I can do is be there for her and do my own things. Trust that my time will come. Because when it is my time, I also want her to feel content.
I am blessed and my life is already complete, now I’ve realized it. Now that I am under financial pressure, my sister (right hand) wants to leave, things are shaky, now I understand how great my life was and thankfully still is. There is still hope. I put this all on me, I let this happen, so I can change my actions at least. I don’t know how tomorrow will look like, but at least I can appreciate my life every single day. My sister is still here, so I can appreciate her presence every single day. I can be kind to her every single day. I will not take her for granted. Because she can still leave. The only thing I can do, is to sprinkle love everyday, do my best everyday to recover and heal this relationship. More importantly heal myself. Build my character, now that I have the time.
I still have time, there is still hope. I haven’t watched other people on social media for over a week and the results are magnificent. I have put all the focus on me right now. I am taking responsibility and thankfully I see perspective. There is always a way. Always.