My real wish

It’s so strange how life goes. One day, week I feel on top of the world, the next I feel anxiety. Seriously, what to do.

There are moments, days that I know what I am doing and other days I am lost. I guess, what I had in mind, did not happen yet, so I feel anxious. It just didn’t happen, I feel horrible. I really thought that it would happen this time.

I got several call backs, signed contracts with major companies and yet I did not get any result out of them.

However, I was able to pay my rent, I bought an over. That is nice.

My real desire is love. I want love, I want the guy, I actually want to FEEL good and FEEL that I am good, attention from him. I love him so much. I feel again empty, empty life. I am sorry but that is how I feel now.

Before I came to Hollywood, I felt the same. I have to accept this moment, but:

I miss you. I love you. 

I just want to hold you and lay on your chest forever, not wake up and be with you. I love you. I want to be in heaven with you, don’t want to wake up, just be with you forever and ever. Please come to me, say something, do I exist? No other guy could replace you, I want you. I love you, I want you. I miss you so much. If I just could hear your voice, could talk to you….I want you yaar, I need you back. I need it, I need you.

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