I love you so much, can you say hi in my dream?

Your birthday is in two days. I want to talk to you, speak to you, see you and my deepest desire, hug you and never let you go. NEVER.

Oh, god, I love you so much, those moments, can I ever have that with someone else? Ever?

Your gentle touch. I am not even talking about the negative things, because I don’t want to, in my world it doesn’t exist,  because I love you, I want you.

I know in reality we can’t be together. But can’t you come in my dream? Can’t you just be mine, in my dream? I’ll be yours. I am yours. I can’t. I cannot live life like this. I also want to experience real love again with someone, real passion with someone. But you keep hunting me, as if there is no one else only you.

There is someone else. Tell me in my dream, that there is someone else out there. You’re not the only one. I haven’t encountered someone else, because my heart is still with you, it belongs to you.

Get me out, I want to move on, please. You have to give me permission. Please, I have to move on, I want to move on. I want to experience mutual love. Now it’s just only one side. It’s coming from me. Where are you? I don’t even know if you love me, I honestly don’t know.

Don’t be selfish, let me move on, please. Please, let me go. Please. I know you’re keeping me in your heart and I can feel it. I don’t want you to forget me, but I think it’s time to move on, both of us.

I will always love you, but in a different way, I can’t live in this agony, this torture.

I have to be present, it’s okay if you are having fun without me and vice versa. I really wanted to be with you, but apparently it’s not happening, not in this life.

I want to wish you a very happy birthday, but by doing so, I might trigger some kind of feelings again. Then you will know that I love you immensely. Always have. And I think it is better to say Happy Birthday in my heart.

But you’re in my heart, you’re always with me, part of me. I will name my child after you. I promise. But let me go, let me have love again. We both know that we can’t be together, or you have to come here. I’ve asked you, but you didn’t want to. That’s okay, so please let me move on. I need to move on, I want to move on. But you have to give me permission. Please.

I genuinely started to care about you, now care about me. Don’t you want me to be happy, for once? Can’t you think about my happiness? Just for once? I am also allowed to feel love again, someone else’s intimacy, someone else’s passion.

Let me know, I want to move on.


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