I let go of you: the negative

I’ve cut my hair yesterday and it turned out not the way I want to, I got an immediate flashback of Highschool:

‘What did you do with your hair? Your hair is so frizzy. You have no boobs, You’re parents do everything for you, they even wipe your ass. You think you’re a princess. You ask too many questions. You’re only good in maths, what can you do with that. You’re not even good at the simple things, the easiest subjects like geography. Your eyebrows are too thick.’

When I look at the comments, I can proudly say that these comments are working for me now. Because ever since I’ve come to the United States of America, I got a lot of appreciation of who I am. America loves the way I am. Respects my witt, my body, my face, my looks, my intelligence.

But before I came to America, I hung out with people who always put me down. I did that to myself, because I gave too much power to someone else’s opinion. …I just checked and activated my old facebook, I looked at those people who were trying to put me down, they looked pretty content, I thought wow they are living their lives. And then I looked at my pictures. Damn, I’ve come a long way. Rome is not build in one day.I am going for something big, something unseen. Those criticism have pushed me harder. It was painful to hear those comments, but if my highschool years were pleasant and my own country would have appreciated me immensely, I wouldn’t be here right now. I would be in my comfortzone where everybody appreciates me and respects me. The fact is they didn’t, only a couple, my history teacher, my elementary teacher, my mom they believed in me. They were the only ones.

I didn’t come here to become mediocre, I have dreams and I see it now. Now that I look back, I’ve come a long way. And I let go of the negative. I won’t put myself down. And I thank those who didn’t support me, who criticized me, you pushed me harder, you challenged me to be good, to be great. I know what I want, I know what I can and God knows it even better than I do. I never believed in myself, but did the actions and I will do it. No matter what, no matter how many obstacles I have to face, I know that God will support me, he always has. When God throws me bricks it’s for something good.

I am here now in Los Angeles, living my life, my dream. Yes, I’m proud of that, but there is more to come way more. Those little obstacles, I won’t let it affect me. I keep going and keep going.

I’ve got my parents support, my sister, the advice that my history teacher gave me, the advice that my teacher gave me at acting school, the gift that my elementary teacher gave me: I am special and what I want is big, won’t come in one day, I have to protect it and trust. Looking back it worked out, I get what I want and what I work for.

I appreciate myself and USA is amazing, LA is amazing. So much warmth and support, thank you.

God bless, keep going, don’t EVER EVER EVER look back again. I left it all behind and keep going FORWARD.


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