I’ve returned

It’s 2nd of August 2015, 2 years ago I was the lead in a play, everyone wanted it and I got it. But I wanted love, I wanted you. I didn’t know that I was living in an illusion. I was pushed from the cliff and lost my role, lost the person I wanted to be with and most importantly I lost myself.

After facing reality, after hitting rock bottom emotionally and financially, after seeing everybody’s true colors, after finding out that the one I loved and wanted to be with got already married, I had to face myself, I rather wanted to die.

I kept going, still tried to persevere and lived in an illusion, not knowing that my relationship with my parents and sister was on a shaky ground. Comparing a lot. Then one day my sister decided not to live with me anymore. This was one year ago.

I had to make a decision either face myself, face reality or live in an illusion and eventually lose everything. I had no career, I had no idea how to do it. No money, my parents couldn’t support me anymore. The first step had to be taken.

I called the person up, screamed and said that I don’t want to live in an illusion anymore, I know you’re married, I loved you for crying out loud but you deceived me. After this phone call, suddenly God helped me and I got several job opportunities. I had to face myself and the damages that I made, I had to recover. I gave all the love to my sister. I pushed, even though she turned against me, I pushed, still gave her love, I gave love and pushed. I pushed the marketing of my short film, I pushed really hard.

I needed money and I also was auditioning for commercials. I wasn’t comfortable, I couldn’t do it. My sister was succeeding, I couldn’t, I felt worthless. Wanted to give up, tried back again. My sister and parents said: ‘Maybe this is not for you, try business.’ I did, I looked for another job, while I was doing that, I got all the signs to do everything myself, take matters into my own hands. Make my own production. So I did.

After failing every time, my luck had changed. It has changed. Now I am performing better than ever, I got my sister back, my parents are supporting me, I got my 2nd booking and right now I am in a nice apartment.

I lost myself, gained myself, lost myself again and NOW I’ve returned. Yes, it’s called change of luck. What didn’t work then, works NOW. There’s no stopping, no turning back, only forward. I AM BACK, NEW, A NEW ME. This is just the beginning, it’s just the beginning. More to come.

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