Once I knew what life really was about, I always asked for a second chance. If I could do it all over again, I would do it differently. I wouldn’t worry that much, be present, live life. The high school period was okay, but the part after that, my private life, I would just do what my heart says. And take a rest, have inner peace and trust, have faith that my time will come.
Having said that, I am getting everything back, if not even more, with a better understanding. I am following my heart, I am following my impulses and I won’t go into a battle anymore, of when will I have this or that. I trust. I let things go easily. There is a set time for everything, everything is determined. The only thing what I have in control is my reaction. It has always been like that. My life is finally back on track and there is a lot of calmness in it. But nothing really changed, the only thing that changed is my mentality, my reactions. I accept God’s timing. I have let go of waiting for my true love, waiting for my big break. I laugh at it now, because, I know there is a set time. I just live my life and be ready. Be ready, for what I truly want.
Yesterday I danced, I used to be so fluent and had great stamina. But a long the way I stopped, because I was waiting for things to happen and when I will have x, then I will do y. But I really am going to make the commitment, to dance every day. Even when it is just for 10 minutes and learning just 1 single dance step. At least progress is being made. I know that I can do it, I want it. Because if I can at least learn one song and I have it in my body, it makes ME proud. This is just for me. It doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be me. It is about muscle memory and I want to increase it. Because if I can do that, everything else flows. It always has, always will. I become happier and love myself more.
It is a a commitment to myself. I have a commitment towards my career and towards this. At the moments these are the commitments I can take. I like this space, so I am doing it. All the time that I was moaning and complaining about the things I couldn’t get or why others are getting ahead, I could have worked on my stamina, muscle memory, dance, that is what I truly like to do, when I have spare time. That is my outlet. 🙂