On Friday, October 16th I had a dream. It was unbelievable, I got a dream f a child today, who was grateful to see me. She touched my feet and hugged me, a little Indian girl. I thought it would be me in real life. Who would bow for someone and appreciate someone like that.
But then exactly the same day that same girl hugged me in real life. It caught me by surprise. I felt loved at that moment. A year ago I also did a Walmart audition. At that time I didn’t get it and prior to that I was comparing myself to my sister and then to others leaving the house frustrated. When I didn’t get it, I mean the whole process was about frustration, trying to be someone else, be perfect, I wasn’t myself at all.
After a year I again got a Walmart audition. Everything changed, I came in as ME and really had a let go mentality, I did what I could do and give at that moment, but didn’t try too hard. I was in a winning group and another child gave me a lot of love. When someone gives you that much love, I really didn’t have to do anything. That was all planned by the universe. I was asked to do the same for another group and so I did. This child also gave me a lot of love. But I could see the difference between my first group and this one. Something I would frustrate about a year ago and accept this time:
It wasn’t that they were bad, they were in fact as individuals great, but it simply didn’t match, that is it. It is destiny and that is why it is so important to have a life outside in this profession. It’s a moment.
I never thought I had it in me, never thought I was beautiful, little did I know that by accepting myself, I would beat any competition, because there is no one like me. I keep being myself and I trust that if it is for me, I will use it as a tool for my for my production. If it isn’t, it would be for someone else, that is also fine, another opportunity will knock, that will be a fit.
But the love that I received, unconditional love from God, from the children, from the guy from the rehearsal of my Cannes project, I will take it with me. I don’t have to do much, just keep going forward, keep going. And eventually become the master of my own destiny.