Facing obstacles

Sweet hearts,

I can’t fight time and I know that. I also know that things that we planned out, doesn’t necessarily turn out the way I want. I was a major challenge in year 2014, didn’t think I could survive. but I got through. Now with this film, just when I think I have it under control, things turns upside down. Do I have a choice? What can I do? I really don’t know and thank God I went to dance class today at 8pm. Bollywood dancing for an hour. I wasn’t perfect, but I kept going and it was fun. I didn’t think about anything else other than dancing.

It’s about problem solving, but in reality that can be tough. I know that companies lose millions, billions, I understand that and I am learning. But I feel very small now, like an ant. I feel like if someone else does it, it’s a hit and people cheer, but when I do this, I get so much criticism, so many obstacles, it’s no easy ride.

I am very grateful that I got so far. I am very grateful that I can do this and actually realize my dream. But putting it all into actions, facing obstacles, harsh rejections, no sympathy, door slams in my face, moody people hanging up on me, that is no pick-nick.  For a year I did audience work, just clapping, since I didn’t get any bookings, not using my brains. I know I had to go through that, for my personal growth as a human being, to be humble and grateful for what I have now and I certainly don’t want to give this all up, to just go back and clap again.

I want to tell you, yes, I will fight, but I seriously don’t want to fight and fighting with time is a waste. I don’t know, I don’t know what my next step will be. I loved dancing that was a great hour.

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