I made a mistake

I made a huge mistake today and I should repent. I made a horrible mistake, I want to punish myself. I mean, the mistake was that I tried to help someone, but I became upset and frustrated, as opposed to what I did 4 years ago. 4 years ago, that moment when a girl at a desk was about to deny our stay, which I reserved, I knew that I had to stay kind and give empathy to that girl. I had to do it that way, I had to put my ego down and try to understand her. I should have done that. I don’t know, but I kind of lost that. And started to become frustrated and saying people are wrong.

People make mistakes, a lot of people don’t want to work and puts the blame on others, or don’t do their work properly. So they become frustrated. I don’t like it when employees give attitude, this year I tried to accept that, lose the battle and win the war. But today I flipped again. It started in the morning, frustrated about the fact that if my sister didn’t have a receipt, she would have been accused of something she didn’t do. It’s wrong and bad. But the message didn’t come across, because I started to become frustrated and became a bit angry.

I lost my focus and started to change people’s work ethic. I can’t. I have to let go. Who am I to fire someone? Who am I to put focus on that. I didn’t even do my own job properly today. What’s the matter with me. I’m a terrible person and I really have to learn to be a good human being. Right now I just want to go down hills and go all the way and punish myself. I don’t deserve better. Oef…Where are my priorities in life? Seriously, this is too much, focusing on these little things. It’s horrible and outrageous of me. Let people do what they want to do, I just have to give feedback in a polite matter, but I rather lose the battle and win the war. I lose my patience way too fast. What’s the matter with me? I got everything I ever wanted, this is horrible. I’m so bad 😦

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