Scared

 I’m scared. I know there is always a way. I am living on a month to month base. And I took a lot of steps and risks this year to get to my goal. However I am looking right now to the status quo. And I don’t have at the moment money. I am waiting for the checks to come, which I pray it will come soon and on time.

It’s crazy, 6 months ago to now, I had enough money, didn’t worry about that, took risks, invested in my film, ate quality food and this month I am paying my meals with my creditcard. And pray that I can pay rent on time.

But a year ago I was in the same situation. If I had the money right now and know for sure rent is paid and I can eat good, healthy food I would focus on my projects.

That’s where ‘put faith into action’ comes from and it worked. It’s challenging. But 9 months ago I was in another apartment where I had the same issue. But instead of worrying of what is, I focused on what I wanted to do, I took risks and worked on my projects. I worked for what I want.

So it’s okay, I can get through this, I really can. I think I missed the ‘rescue’ boat, I do have some options left, to get to where I want to be. There is some hope left, there really is.

At least I like to believe so. I’m going to take a nap and we’ll see.

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