It’s my fault

I have to confess, everything that is happening to me is my fault. Me and my sister started with an ambitious project and she casted me. I didn’t trust her and through out making of this film, I’ve seen what it does to a project, if you don’t trust the captain. This project meant the world to her and because of my stupid insecurities I stalled things. I was worried about *bullshit things, money, rent, costs. It’s stupid and now because of me, she finds this whole project a waste. My sister who put her heart and soul into it, it’s ridiculous what my insecurities has done. I ask you God to give hope to my sister. She gave me a second chance to be a lead in her film, she put her heart and soul to this project, she is immensely talented let’s not put this into a waste.

My insecurities got to her, this is wrong. What I’ve done is wrong. If I could go back in time, I would savor every minute, every single minute of filmmaking with my sister and completely trust her, not argue with her at all, shut my mouth completely and do everything she said. Because I trust her. And now she wants to quit the business, I hate myself for this. I hate it that I think it’s about me. It’s not! I am here to contribute to the society not show off. God help me, please let my sister see light again and PLEASE let me have the strength to push this project forward so it can be seen by those where my sister intended. PLEASE. I am sorry for I have committed a sin, I let my sister down because of my insecurities. I wish I could be a better sister. A more trusting and giving one.

It’s a god damn privilege that she chose me for this project, she invested her blood, sweat and tears into me, how can I be so mean.

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