I am sorry, I fell astray, now I don’t feel like fighting anymore. It took a lot of effort to come to this stage, I know. And I really want it so bad, but somehow it’s not going. Or I think…

I just paid a big amount of my credit card, which finally set my credit card free. I might not have gotten the green light for the film to distribute, but I certainly got financial relief. I want to act and do this, however somehow I have to remind myself and keep training, who I am. Acting is visual, it’s a visual thing, lines come from doing, it’s easy.

Why do I feel defeated, while I sense that God is still trying to help me? I’ve put too much energy into something which is not my destiny.

Things will come in the way that will try to push me from reaching to my destiny.  I’m reading the book Think and Grow Rich. I am 3 feet away from Gold. But somehow I feel defeated and certain feelings arise. And I’m tested every time.  However I have to run my race and don’t look back, don’t look at others, which drifts away the energy.  I have to keep going and persevere. This is it. Shut the ‘thinking’ off, and go forward. Because I do deserve the goodness in my life, I do deserve all the good. I am worth it and if I don’t invest in myself, no one else will. There is no luck, I am blessed. I am making my own destiny. I am an actress and producer. I love doing business and I will tackle the industry from that angle. I love doing business and I will find investors. I already invested in my film, which was around $6000 and made a quality product. This is just the beginning. I give up and let go. I let go, I let go, I let go. Let me learn and we’ll see what happens. Release.


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