Commitment

Yesterday evening, I went to a networking event and I got some self reflection. It is very important to understand that I am on the right track and I am already good enough.

The host of the event asked me a question, based on the course she was promoting: ‘How long have you had this goal and what is stopping you from reaching it?’

I answered that I actually am working towards my goal and I know it’s timing, as I said before I cannot jump. I mean I actually can jump, but I can expect from life to have immediate result. I have an idea and that needs to be developed that takes tremendous amount of time. That is a process and I have to walk the journey. This is life. I can’t possibly think that I will feel happy all the time and every thing that I will do has immediate result. Things do take time, that is something I have to accept.

I did realize that I am absolutely on track, but I feel overwhelmed by what I want to do. A lot of forces are going for me, I do have a supporting environment. Nobody is standing in my way. I am seeking for constant self fulfillment and trying to fix one component, which is not in my control. There is always something going on, always, I can’t let my circumstances rule over me. I have to take charge.

I don’t have to revisit the past all the time, I don’t have to think about my past relationships or anything that has to do with the past. Everything what I have and what is happening right now, is something that I have to face in the present moment. I am still the same person, I’ve grown. The past was an experience. I’ve acquired experience and with that, I am making decisions for now. It is Wednesday 9th of March, and this is my journey.

The networking event was promoting a course, which basically meant accomplishing the goal together. Working in a team. E-mailing companies and within that pitching is a skill on it’s own. I know I’m good at that, no need to do that together. Yet I wanted to do everything together. I was constantly thinking about working in an environment, where everyone is working on a goal. It stimulates you and there is a bit of competition, healthy one. Because if you don’t accomplish your goal, you’re left behind. However, to pay for a class like that?

I think my greatest stimulant comes from balance. What I know is, that when I was in a relationship in Amsterdam, or when my parents were here, I made sure I finished my work, so I can indulge with them. It’s having a nice treat for yourself after you have worked. I can’t just work and not do something fun. It can be something small, but it is important to celebrate life and something I like to do.

So, it’s 11.52am. Let me make a commitment, I work on e-mailing till 1pm and then I take a 15 min. break and 4.00pm I go to Yoga class. I will finish what I can do today before 6pm. And read a book after that and have an evening off.

And for 30 days, I will make this commitment that I won’t check other people on Facebook.

God bless, I’ll let you know by the end of the day, how it worked out.

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