Good Evening dear ones,
As I’m writing this I have tons of anxiety. I have submitted my film into a major film festival, I mean regardless of the result, my life obviously will continue. But honestly I don’t know how to get my film on a major platform. I actually do know how, but somehow I’m not getting the greenlight yet. However my vision told me I am on the right path.
Now I understand and get a glimpse of how JK Rowling, Steve Jobs, Walt Disney felt. It’s so unbearable this feeling, this anxiety. I am in between and I don’t know if it will happen. Will it work, will I be able to showcase my film, my contribution to society on a larger scale? Will that ever happen? I just feel so empty. It’s a scary feeling.
What if it never goes out, what if I made the film just to get footage for some actors. This is so scary. God, this feeling is getting to me, this anxiety. I mean I’ve done my best. Will I be able to let it go, regardless of the result. I mean seriously, I am following a vision which doesn’t make any sense. It really doesn’t make any sense at all. And I know what it means. It means that I have to follow it, since God knows better. I have one week, to finalize the distribution. It has to happen. Something has to happen. It must be. I can’t just give up. This film is made with a purpose.
It would be so easy indeed, to just do a job or a task with no risk. But the higher the risk, the higher the paid off. And I inherently love taking risks. But in reality it is so scary! I don’t know what will happen. I am very determined, having said that the final say is in the hands of God. God, I really want it to happen, I want my mission to be achieved. I want my goal realized. Give me guidance. Give me something. Please. Give me courage to keep going. Give me courage to keep going. Courage and strength to face my fears. To conquer my anxiety and still keep going, find ways to make it happen. There must be a way, there must be a way.