Delicious Vegan Organic dairy free carrot cakes

Hi my lovely petals,

In remembrance of those who served, who gave their all for this nation, I think it is beautiful that we can celebrate our existence. They fought for our peace. And I am grateful that I can live in peace and harmony.

I have indulged myself into healthy, delicious treats. I was craving for it, I wanted something sweet to celebrate life, celebrate this journey. However, I wanted organic, sugar and dairy free. This time I opted out of gluten, because it was too heavy, I just wanted something very light.

I have found use of my time. My sister is working on something and my work is producing and marketing, which is after the creation has been made. So while she is working, I have basically a lot of free time. I work out and I bake! I love it and I really like doing this, as part of my free time.

I wanted to share this recipe with you, I found this online, but I made my own twist of it. It’s very delicious and light. Again little drops of heaven 😉 With prep and baking time, all together it took 50 minutes. But it was easy to make, thankfully. And I use my Nutribullet as a blender. I can blend almost anything in there, very grateful to have this product.


-1 cup grated carrots (I made the grated carrots with the Nutribullet)
-1/2 cup medjool dates
-2 tablespoons olive oil
-1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
-2 teaspoons vanilla
-2 tablespoons coconut flour
-1/8 teaspoon sea salt
-2 table spoons nuts, (subject to taste)

I blended it all, until it was a nice mashed mixture. Because there is not much liquid, I blended it and then took the mashed ones out and continued. Other wise it gets stuck.

I preheated the oven at 350F. And I baked it for 17-20 minutes.

Even eating it warm, was so delicious. Honestly it tasted like Indian sweets. But a healthier version 😉 My dad would love this, because he is absolutely not allowed to have too much sugar, as he has diabetes.  So this would be a perfect treat for him.

Enjoy this beautiful day, indulge, live life and celebrate!

Much love, kisses and hugs.

Ps: It’s nice to indulge this with a season of the Bachelor or Bachelorette, or any other juicy season 😉

photo 2 (28)


Care free mentality

What’s driving me is my mission, reading to teenagers. Not only focusing on ‘I need this, I want this. it benefits me’, but also thinking abut others. Helping others, through my art. God has given me this wonderful privilege. I’m so grateful for that. I’m grateful that I can make a difference. We all can. Listening to my inner voice. Regardless of what people think.

I made a short film which is about that. Listening to that inner vice, what resonates with you. You, it just crossed my mind, if you would be here, other than holding hands, you didn’t know what to do. I was guiding it all. Nothing wrong with that, but with or without, I would still working out, dance, create. Last year my goals was to fitness. I still want to wake up early at 6am and sleep at 10pm. I just want to. The morning is so peaceful, so serene. I fell in love with the morning. Relatively speaking I’m in full speed.

I might be. I ask and I receive. I’m in tune with myself. It’s a beautiful journey, keeping my mission alive, in tact. Reaching out to the youngsters. I believe I live in a blessed apartment. The sun shines here. Perfect lighting. I love being social, I love being myself. I love it all 🙂 I love my care free mentality. A very positive outlook on life. When I look closer, I saw it in you, because I have it. And I thought you had it, but you didn’t. You like sadness, I like happiness. I choose happiness. It’s all good. You learn on your own pace. I’m very optimistic in life, on a daily basis. Not everything goes according to plan and that’s okay. My sister is practical and my mom is a power house. My dad is the motivator. WE all work as a team. I invest in good food and on my mission. I keep it in moderation, but I do enjoy life. I love it all. Let life happen. Just go with the flow, let me try, at least today 😉

The most wonderful thing about life is, I don’t have to feel, I can take the steps, do the action, I can create

Friday 27th of May, 2016

Life is like a flower. I’m a flower and I have bloomed. Around this time, I usually dwell on the past. I become gloomy and again I really dig in the past. I am in the present. Everything in the past is gone. A new beginning, a complete new beginning.

I love baking, so in the morning I made coconut flour pancake. Mmm, without grain, no eggs or milk. I put some banana in it, very delicious. It tasted like little drops of heaven. It wasn’t perfect, it broke because there was no egg to hold it together. But that doesn’t matter. It still was divine. I was savoring it.

Thinking about the past depletes my energy, I am just living my life in the moment. That’s how I started and that’s how I will finish. A great fresh life ahead with unbounded possibilities.

I realized why I wanted to hold hands with you. I remembered. When I hold your hand, when I held, I was completely present. I saw every detail of life, nature, flowers. Other things such as achievements were all secondary. I started to savor life more. I understood what life was. I appreciate life. Nothing bothered me. Time stood still. The past, my reactions, everything was exactly right for me. I understood what was more important for me. I realize it.

It’s all within me. The silence. I liked myself, the feelings when we were connected. The most wonderful thing about life is, I don’t have to feel, I can do the steps, take action, all those actions, savoring more, being silent, stillness, being grounded, I can do it all. Taking more care of myself. Appreciating life more. I still can do it, with or without, I still can do the actions. First the action and the rest will fall into place. Life goes on. It shows confidence if I can be happy on my own. That’s the quality I admired in you in the first place. Because that’s me! Excitement in life, magic is happening. Make magic happen everyday. That’s what I have learned living in America. Don’t wait for things, create, make it happen 😉 Have  a beautiful night, love you all! xxx


Guided to spirituality, meditation

It’s Thursday May 26th, 5th month of 2016.

I’ve come a long way. Every year, every day is different. When I look back I can connect the dots. A year ago, I was working non stop, I was living for rent. Month to month, working, to make the rent. I decided to invest things that I wanted to do on a regular basis. Which is fitness, yoga, dancing, spending quality time with my sister and working on my passion, films, creating. It all is happening now. Today at 8pm, I’m going to yoga class and at 9pm, hiphop dance.

Moving, fitness is vital. This is so important for my happiness. Meditating in the morning, even if it just takes 5/10 minutes, is very relaxing, it gives me rest in my heart. I invested in the things I wanted and that manifested. Now I’m doing this on a daily basis, what used to be once a week. As an actress and filmmaker, I work on one project at a time, one focus which requires a lot of patience. That it why I am so happy that I get to move as well. I move with people, I don’t have to be in a conversation, it’s all physical. Physical energy. We all are moving towards beautiful, strong energy. I know what is important now. I used to do ‘katha’, in Amsterdam. A deep spiritual mediation. I didn’t know what the point of that was, this was 4.5 years ago. Now I know and I will implement that in my life again. Because we can. No rush, live and experience. There is no deadline. God has set a time, his time is the greatest, the best. As I am following my inner guidance, it’s guiding me to spirituality, to meditation, which is giving me so much inner peace. 🙂

Have a beautiful enchanting evening.

It can only be better, if I trust the path of God

You were in my dream, we did hold hands, but a crow disturbed the dream. Immediately after I felt that we were connected. Intuitively I know that in waking life we are not on the same life path. Spiritually I know that. Just physically, I liked holding hands with you, physical touch. I believe we have a strong connection and we do love each other, but the concept of love is different and I have to let you learn on your own. I know something inherently what you don’t know at the moment.

That is why it is no point of visiting the past. I love you and I will not stop loving you. We are connected, but for the spiritual growth I accept my destiny. I accept the decision of God. I cannot re-write what is meant for me. There is something, that I cannot see and time is showing me, that the choice I’ve made is the best on for me. Even though it was hard and I wanted to stay with you, I know it would be indifferent to you in waking life, it wouldn’t help you and me. I trust that God has something beautiful and I see the fruits of it in waking life, I see it all here. I have everything I need. It can only be better, if I trust the path of God. Ever since I took the path of God, I started meditating and following my mission, my spirit started to shine. I am healing. This is the right choice, I love the life I live. This is it. I am exactly where I am meant to be. You are the master planner God, only you. Amen.

You will always hold a special place in my heart

Hi my lovely sweethearts, what an interesting day it was, yesterday. I actually had a nice evening. Morning was okay. I was just so happy that I stayed up all night, listening to music. I didn’t do my morning work out. Which was very important. But I’ve realized my work out is a tool, not a destination. I don’t live for it. It helps me to occupy my brain. I’m in the present moment. I got some inspiration for my company, so I used my morning to to work on that, on expanding my business, make a Youtube video, interview to promote the film.

Meanwhile my thought go to you. I haven’t stopped loving you. I love you, you matter to me. Your smile. I guess you’re the only one I know, I’ve emotionally invested in. Can we hug, can you come in my dream to hug me. A kiss on your left cheek and right cheek. A moment in my life. You were a moment. You’re in me. You always have. I’m full of love now. I’m sweet. Are you sweet and kind? For once, love me truly. I love you too. I can’t waste my life, waking time. But in my dream, I can, do I want to?

This gratefulness comes now from the moment, you can’t take it away from me. I won’t let it happen anymore. This life is beautiful, if you at the simple things in life. Those little things in life make me. I truly love you, that’s why I accept you, but from a distance. I let go. I have you still in my heart. You will always hold a special place in my heart.

What adds to my stress and how it decreased

Yesterday, 20th of May, 2016.

What a beautiful day today, what a change. From bus to lyft. I didn’t realize that I was on edge because of riding by bus. It just adds to my stress. Ever since I graduated from Acting school in 2013, I took the bus to safe money and invest everything for my dream. Prior to that I rarely used the bus, since the school was thankfully walking distance. I’ve been riding the bus for the past three years. This was going to be the 4th year. Luckily my ‘time’ changed. I am blessed that I can choose to get lyft. This week I used both, I took the bus only once. What a difference.

I had a car in Amsterdam. But at this moment, just being the back seat in a car is nice, very nice. What a relief. We went to Farms of Beverly Hills. We had a lamb burger, very delicious. I’m really happy about it. I observed that it is time to move on, get to a higher level. Riding by bus doesn’t serve me anymore. It used to be convenient for three years, but not anymore. When I took lyft, I talked to people who are very happy and calm, unlike the people I meet on the bus. That’s not LA. In LA, everyone is positive, it is the land of positivity. I meet positive people in lyft, very nice atmosphere. And when I came home, I had my great energy, very light, happy go lucky. I was passionate about life again.

I can’t believe it, but just long drive, no people, staring outside, lovely, what a serenity. For 22 years I was living in Amsterdam, my house was next to a river. Silence and serenity. Of course I am going to yearn for that kind of serenity. Luckily I do have that now in my apartment. Slowly getting that outside as well. I thank God for this gift. I love America and I love this city, but what makes this city great is that you can enjoy life instantly. And I am here, so I’ve to do of that more. Unbelievable. After having a mouth watering lamb burger we took a delicious ice-cream at Amorino. A nice girl’s night out with my sister. Which I haven’t done for a long time. At least not like this. I loved it 🙂

How I overcame my restlessness

It does not matter how slowly you go, as long as you do not stop. -Confucius

(Thursday, 19th of May, 2016) I couldn’t sleep yesterday. I was restless. I was contemplating. There wasn’t something tangible I could work on. I wanted to work on my film, on art. In the morning I watched some YouTube vlogs, with children in it. It gave me some relief. It was fun to watch.

Meanwhile I submitted myself to a women in media workshop hosted by Arclight Cinemas. It was a lottery and after not winning Cannes or another film festival award, I thought at least I hope I get invited for this workshop. But alas, I didn’t. I felt lost. I wanted to win or at least grow my skills. They say with a reason: “Be you, just do you.” I am persistent, very persistent. And I wasn’t using my skill for what I love, for a while. It’s never too late though. There’s always hope and time.

I e-mailed them saying that I would love to attend the (free) workshop and I hope there is a spot for me. One day later, a spot opened, there was a last minute cancellation and I was invited! I didn’t get there by luck, I made my luck, I used my powerful skill, which is persistence. My will power. I realized that if I persist, I exist and in this country you most definitely exist. In this country persistence is the key to success and I am so grateful to God that I am here. I believe in the American dream, I’m living proof of it. I am living the American dream. Which is following my passion, my mission, my dream. From Amsterdam to Hollywood. It all comes from within. Passion resonates with everyone. I work with authenticity and integrity and that my friend, works wonders. I care about honor. That is quality. It does take time, but quality, content is king. As a producer, actress and a spiritual human being, I get to do what I love. I am so happy and grateful for this moment. And what makes it more exciting is that it is all in my hands. I create and magic happens. It seriously not waiting around, it’s creating, making it happen. Persevere, keep using my essence, my skills, working with what I have. It works wonders.

Persistence and passion, are my most valuable skills, with that I truly can conquer anything I would like. Trust, have faith, believe, most importantly just take the action and the rest will reveal by it self.

Love you all, Good Night! xxx

Protecting my essence: Enthousiasm

Goooooooooooood Morningggg!!! I just came from Zumba. I woke up at 8 am. Trust me, my bed was nice and cozy, I really wanted to sleep in, but when I start my day early in the morning and I work out, my day starts well. I am all energized. Bring it on baby!

Day by day I started to lose my essence, which is bringing light, shining light, motivating, bringing energy. Due to day to day ‘tasks’, groceries, e-mailing, booking, etc. things that are just little things, which is not my essence, but those frivolous things needs to be done, it started to get to me, I made it bigger, as if that was my goal. NO! I know why I came here, I know what my purpose and I will fulfill my purpose.

I have to look at the bigger picture. THE BIGGER PICTURE, THINK BIG. Not dealing with day to day people, who are moody. Let them, but it was bringing me down, I let it. But every morning I am as of now reminding myself, who I am. I am light. I am energy. I am happy. 

I am a happy go lucky person, everything I do, I do it with enthusiasm. I am very enthusiastic in  life! And some people don’t get that and that is fine. But American people are also very happy, especially on sets. Yes! So I keep this with me, I protect it. If someone’s demeanor is very heavy, that’s okay, but I keep on moving. I just keep on moving. I love variety, I love doing new things and I have lot’s of fire in me. I can’t bring myself down, because of other people’s sadness.  Whatever people’s reaction is, or life’s ‘results’, it truly doesn’t matter. My reactions matter, that’s what makes me. If I have to lose anyway, I might as well enjoy my life, while I have it. I’ve got nothing to lose. So let me start this adventure, let me start over.

This is a new day, new chances, let’s start fresh, HAPPY WEDNESDAY!

A letter to my dad

Everytime when mom wanted to lounge and have a nice champagne, you would do that for her. It’s not for you, it’s for them. And she likes to go with you. The same I have with my sister. I don’t feel the need to have ice-cream every week, but my sister loves it and she’s not gonna go without me, because she doesn’t like to eat the ice cream on her own, she wants to share her happiness and spend quality time with me. Just because we have company every day, we shouldn’t take it for granted. If you invest in quality time, it makes the relationship healthy. And the relationship grows, any relationship will sustain that way. Which is the most important thing in the world, from that foundation, you can build anything. 🙂