Now when I look back, I can say my past has been great. And it is of that precise reason why I wanted to go back in time and change my experiences. Tell my past self, that everything is going to be okay and just enjoy the ride. Don’t worry that much, because my oh my I did worry in the past! I still do, not as much as I used to though. However, I did want to change certain things, what I knew now and apply it then. Certain mistakes I made, I wanted to correct it. If I could go back in time and change certain things, when something happened, when I was pushed over the edge emotionally, if I would stand up for myself at those moments, or if I didn’t let my feelings get in the way, I would have a great experience. I would have a perfect past. But having a ‘great’, ‘perfect’ past, with no pain, somehow doesn’t give me the drive to achieve. Because pain is gain.
Now I understand that my past is my power. My past, the people who pushed me, the pain, the betrayal, not standing up for myself at the time, going on with a relationship which was harming my present, almost losing my dream, my purpose, losing my core personality, losing MYSELF, all of that, ALL OF THAT, made me understand that it’s downhill or up hill from here. Will I dwell in the past, or learn from it and move on, create something better. The only thing I had was the present and absolutely changing my reactions, my actions, accepting of what I cannot change, and take control about what I could change, which is myself. I had myself, the most powerful tool in the universe, ME.
I like to dwell on the past, but every day is a gift. And with this experience, I can make my present and therefore my future better. That pain of the past gave me drive. If everything would go well, I wouldn’t have the motivation to persevere.
The future awaits me, my unconscious is telling me to love myself, moreover ACCEPT MYSELF. I am absolutely great and wonderful the way I am. I contribute to society, I give, I am kind and love people and this planet. I care, I do care. Intuitively I know that I can evoke change, something big and great is about to happen. I will NEVER AGAIN sabotage myself anymore. I will NEVER AGAIN put someone else first. I might not belief in myself in waking life, but unconsciously I do believe that I can do it, I can contribute significantly. I just have to be myself, going with the flow, do what I would do, what my personality would do, trust MYSELF. I can, one person can bring change, it is possible. Absolutely possible. It is time. OWNING WHO I AM, THE GOOD TRAITS AND MY FLAWS. Let’s Go!