I can’t wait my whole life for that one person. There is so much more to discover, there is so much light. Life is light. I have to be practical and not lead by emotions. It feels nice, but I’m actually stagnating. Going back, to the known, which brought me out of balance. I neglected all of my pure relationships at that time, with my parents and sister, all because I wanted to hang out with that person. That personality wasn’t even me. I was completely out of balance. Focusing on person, radiating all of my energy to one person and what’s worse, that person wasn’t receiving anything, the heart was blocked. There was no reciprocation.
My ego was keeping me. I though, why can’t I shine light on that person, why isn’t it working. But I learned so much from this person. From this experience, my relationship with my parents and sister significantly improved. It’s great if I can provide for my family, be there for them. Right now my parents are supporting me in the journey of following my heart and being a filmmaker. Truly contributing to society through film making.
That person is not in my life anymore, because that’s not who I am. I perhaps was that person, but I’ve grown. I learned to include humanity in the process, in my life. So to keep going in the past is pointless, because I’m done, I have to apply everything I’ve learned as of now, in the moment.
I was comparing myself to my own sister, I also equally wanted to be good. I was obsessed about it, to the point that it wasn’t healthy. I didn’t know. When God closed a door, he did that deliberately. He knows more. It would be wrong of me to open it again. That means I don’t trust God. I trust God, he has shown me time and again, that I’m going on the right path.The path which is meant for me. The past already came to visit me. And what I have as a memory, reality is different. If I rely on my memory, I will see the beautiful side. But when I look closer, I do see the truth. With patience everything falls into place. Today the relationship that I have with my sister is much stronger. Stronger than ever. Like it was meant to be.
I’m not holding any grudges, I’m releasing it. I still love that person, but that person is also learning. That person was a messenger and I have to trust the unknown. By letting go of the impossible, I made everything else possible. God bless