detaching emotionally and moving forward

It’s always on those who will get the best. I feel defeated, I want to give up. don’t want to exist. I couldn’t eat properly yesterday, my appetite died. Ego obviously crushed. it’s done I hope God you can forgive me. I forgive myself. I’m able to pay and I don’t know what’s gotten into me. Jealous, not giving, what is wrong with me. I can’t expect that I am the only one who can be happy. Of course people should be happy. I would love to go for a hike, but instead I will stretch.

Holding grudges, I give it all up, forgive me. forgive. I became my worst enemy. In a second 😦

I am saying goodbye to my past, to you mom and to you dad. I won’t say it but it will be seen in my actions. This is something for me, perhaps you won’t even notice. But I can’t do this to myself any longer. I have chosen to do this journey on my own. I’ll only talk for pure practical reasons. But my emotions or inner conflicts will stay here with me and my sister. I’m in America and that is my current state. This is my present and I will completely embrace it. It’s me and my sister. It’s already been done. I am accepting that I have detached myself completely on an emotional level. It’s the precise reason why I wanted a boyfriend and completely live another life. But I have that now with my sister. This is it. What a relief. Letting the perfect life go completely. I will do it differently. I have to focus on my present to move on and if I attach myself emotionally to whatever is going between my parents I am not able to move forward.

Moving forward, keeping my integrity, positivity and humility in mind. I wish that for myself. 🙂

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