What needs to be done is women should treat women better first, humanity first, everything else is secondary

Please don’t mind my blunt opinion, but they should really put women empowerment in the trash, it’s literally a joke. I as a woman, can say that I’ve asked help from the industry, where women are most of the time leading, they have never granted me a step in the industry. Men did. And they were a gentlemen and professional. This has been my experience. When I was in University, studying International Business, most of the time I was the only girl in the group and I felt so comfortable, guys are kind.

I’m not denying that things can get ugly with men or women for that matter, I’m sure they can. And ofcourse not all women are mean, they are not. I have encountered numerous women who were really kind. But I also believe that happens, because good people meet good people. Generally speaking, guys helped me out in situations, women stood their and watched. WTF?! Most of the time women gave me a heart time [in Europe especially]

Women should not drag each other down. This is so unacceptable. You know how many jealousy exists. Guys give eachother most of the time,there is a lot of bromance. There truly is.

There is a moral distortion going on. Luckily for me, I have great parents, they love me and my sister both equally, I never felt less than a men, I’ve been always treated equal. There were equal opportunities and I could do whatever I wanted to, my parents gave me that liberty, freedom. My mother has taught me high ethics. Money is important, but what is more important is ethics, moral ethics. Humanity.

Humanity first, everything else is secondary. When we unite as a human being, we can be powerful and truly can make the world a much happier place.

Much love


Make magic happen

It’s been exactly six years, since I’ve crossed the atlantic ocean from Amsterdam to Los Angeles. I live here and I can say that this is my home. It is very courageous to take a leap of faith and time and time again I can see that I made the best choice. I’ve found myself here, I am creative, I can make magic happen.

I am so grateful to God for this life, this is truly an amazing one, if I confront my fears. I’ve done it and I’m doing it. Feel the fear and do it anyway. I see so much perspective.

I’ve tried many ways, now I’m going to take on a new approach. This is a new era. It’s happening, great things are happening. 🙂

Now regarding a new approach, for so long I’ve tried to get into newspapers, local news etc. I did get publications, happy about those ones. But I feel there is a new way. People are choosing experience now. Everybody wants to enhance their life. I do care about the craft. I really do. I guess I have to find an innovative way of putting my new shortfilm out there. We’ll see.

When people got in the newspaper, that used to be a reflection of fame. But today anybody can actually get in the newspaper, get published, get publicity. It can be manipulated, exaggerated etc. So people are smart, they don’t buy into that. The millennial are doing something else, I’m one of them. I’m also not buying it anymore. That means that it’s becoming slowly obsolete. There is information overload.

Hmmm, there is a way, I just have to find it.

It’s a challenge. Focusing on myself and my growth. If I’m happy, I can radiate energy to the world. My essence is to enlighten. I see beauty in the world, in nature, something really beautiful. There is always a way, there is enough for everyone, we must look beyond.

God bless ❤

My brain was finally relaxing, because my body was at work.

Hi Beautiful birds,

I went to hot power yoga at 7pm, arrived at home 8.30pm, took a nice shower and I ate my dinner, which was prepared by my sister. Very delicious.

During class there were lots of thoughts coming my way, but because it can be intense, finally my thoughts were in the background, I became more present. It really is challenging. And it’s comfortable to stay at home, but I feel so much better now. I feel that I’m truly giving to my body what it needs. I’m exercising, stretching. I can analyze a lot and it’s great to take a break from that. It really is. I truly love working out. However, because I tend to analyze a lot, I don’t go. I give in to my feeling.

My feelings are saying no, I can skip, this day. But I kept skipping and just staying at home, I knew I was doing injustice to my body. More importantly to my brain. My brain was finally relaxing, because my body was at work. I love moving my body, working out.

For so long I haven’t done an intense work out, I’m glad I did. I always get this great feeling afterwards. It’s part of it. I just do it.

Thank God I did.

Much love, good night!

I must accept and roll with what I have. 

It’s the era of truth. things are being exposed and truly nothing is what it seems. Magazines, social media it all can make people’s life look sooooo perfect. But in reality they are far from perfect. I can’t let it get to me again. I’ve lost a lot, regained it again. I can’t go through that cycle again.

If it doesn’t happen in this lifetime, then I’ll try and make it happen in my next life time.

These are the thoughts that come to me when I read things about people who so called have already made it, or magazines, mostly european ones, who makes me cry:

“I’m not going to give myself pressure, why things are not working out the way I want to, with the knowledge that I have, I just sometimes feel that I want more. I can get more. Chanel bags, designer bags,  clothes. I’ve put everything in my art. Even though I know that a lot of designer fabrics are the same as regular ones, most of the time the fabric is polyester, which irritates my skin, but I just want to wear nice fashion. I want to dress up, feel good, pamper myself. 

I want my career to fly off. I have to be honest, I want to look like I’m it, I’m the one, I have everything, the looks the beauty, that people talk about how beautiful I am, how great I am. That’s the honest truth right now. I can philosphy about that this is a path and I’ll get there, but when, I want everything now. I want to be fashionable. And you know why? Because people care about that more. the magazines, tv, they all show that.  I think if I had everything what I wanted and i would have millions on the bank, I’ve achieved it myself and could go on a luxury holiday, I wouldn’t look at other people and envy those people who are having a platform.

And even though I know the truth of their financial situation, they still are in magazines. Perhaps they need it the most. What would make me feel harmonious is if I would have the love of my life. I know that I am the one who makes me feel complete, but just knowing that someone is there for me, looking out for me. i know my parents are, my dad is, but oef, those European magazines makes me want to consume more, have more.

Yes the whole shebang got out with Weinstein, it’s clearly not what it seems, but there must be a way to become a millionaire again. I was that, now I want it again.”

I just had a moment —

Realizing what I just wrote—

I must accept and roll with what I have. And if I become envious of something, that doesn’t matter, I’m going to roll with what I have. It’s done.

Tomorrow I’m going to take a yoga  class and relax. Take a deep breath and, inhale and exhale. I’m lucky with what I have, I am slowly realizing it. I already have it inside of me. I know I have.

This journey awakened me, I only live once, I’ve come so far, let’s finish it!

Throughout this journey I realized that family, parents is the ultimate power, with family, my mom, dad and sister, I can do everything, anything, because I have warmth with me.

IT if it wasn’t for this journey I would never have known this. To make the most out of everything, I do that myself, I push happiness, I push laughter, that’s how I do it now, what I’ve learned from this country, to have a smile, enjoy each moments, also enjoy tranquil moments!

What kills me makes me feel alive, it did, departing from someone I loved, that killed me but it made me feel alive, I’m AWAKE! I can do this, if I can live through that, I can DO this!

I only live once, I’ve come so far, let’s finish it!


Let’s go to the unknown, excitedly

I had a nice hike at Runyon, woke up at 8 am. Hiked, hopped in the shower and ate a nice tuna salad. I’m grateful and blessed with my life. I mean it, ever since I realized how much I appreciate when there is harmony within the family. Between my parents. That’s what I appreciate the most. It makes everything else so easy. I’m fine with God’s timing. I do my best, I take my steps.

I’ve also realized how the film industry works, fundamentally Bollywood and hollywood. I do it my way. God’s way, with love and integrity, because that’s the path of longevity. I came from a whole loving family. I’m fine with my pace. Not only that, I happen to love taking initiative and building together with my sister , to the unknown.That’s actually most exciting.

I’m consistent, that is success. Consistency can feel like a routine, which can be boring. But that’s it, that’s success. We create fireworks in between and at the end, but in reality it’s doing your work with consistency and you’ll go from A to B.

I can only make a change by following my intuition, I like my life just the way it is and going with the flow.

I’ve analyzed enough, now it’s about doing my part. without thinking about it.


I love love. I love harmony. I breathe, inhale and exhale, closing my eyes, opening them. I exist.

Hi my Chocolates,

Stay in touch with fun, just being. It is so important to wake up early and hike. It’s our 6 years Anniversary of me and my sister, since we came to Los Angeles. I grew as a human being. Art is so important. Filmmaking is the most expensive art form there is. It’s an expensive hobby, but very rewarding. It takes time to create quality. It’s minimum output, maximum outcome. It’s all about smart work. There is no shortcut to success. It all takes time. And it’s about using my time well.

I am really privileged to have experienced a life, before I joined the film industry. We are winning, All winners.

I love love. I love harmony. I breathe, inhale and exhale, closing my eyes, opening them. I exist.


I chose growth and in the long term I am at peace

I am so glad that I stayed committed to my passion. My persistence is very strong and thank God for that. I had good people around me. Now after 6 years, I see a shift happening, that all the people with 9 to 5 job, they are quitting themselves, because they weren’t growing. They got a fixed income, but they weren’t developing any skills.

I made that decision 6 years ago. I am growing as a person, which makes me very happy.

I am developing skills, growing, increasing my knowledge. I love what I do and I am grateful I can continue doing this, really grateful.

It can happen any time, I trust God’s timing, staying in faith

Good Afternoon lovely drop of chocolates,

I just had some delicious baked sweet potato. For three months I was in a pool of ‘procrastination’ or it can also been seen as a time out/ holiday. I didn’t go out for a holiday, but I did go with my sister for Ice creams, pastries, for dinner etc. I was living life and I still am. I was meanwhile frustrated about others getting ahead, while I had my time out.

I realized that I cannot break the ceiling in one day. It takes time. While I am putting my art on a public platform, I still can enjoy life. It doesn’t matter who’s there first. Now in theory it’s easy to say, but I am understanding it now fundamentally.

I am giving to myself, by accepting God’s timing. I trust God’s timing, I am staying in faith. I take the steps regardless of the result, because clearly it has never been about that. It’s all about doing the work. That’s what matters. Not on the surface, but the work.

I trust God’s timing in everything. He knows better. So I am not going to question his timing.

I know that I am happy with my life, that’s what matters the most. I like to establish myself first at a level where I want to be. I want to give myself everything and what I want is something noble. That is a commitment. I trust that I will also meet the right person at the right time. And we will be one.

I believe that my art is worth it and it also deserves a place where it’s accessible to everyone. So I can share my vision. A week ago, I wanted to give up on everything, on life. But when that moment was there, I want to live.

I am living and that is a Gift from God. I can do anything, I have two eyes, two arms, two legs, healthy body and mind, I can do it. It doesn’t matter anymore, I am taking my steps.

It’s worth it. ❤