I want to wake up at 6 am

Good Evening,

Hope you’re having a nice holiday cheer πŸ™‚ I went to the Grove today, beautifully decorated as always and bought my favorite pastries. With two croissant and ate it with an omelette inside mmmm.

Very beautiful atmosphere and me and my sister also ate a delicious chocolate freeze.

Now when I came home, I was really happy. But then I didn’t have the energy to do other stuff.

I don’t know if it’s depression or not exercising. I eat healthy, organic food, make delicious recipes….hmm still fatigue?

But at least I went outside today, so that should have given me a boost to be awake? I also wake up in the morning around 7-7.30 am and then I see my sister, thinking why should I wake up? What’s there to do?

I really can’t think like that. I have a different morning routine. And my body is craving for exercise or doing something. Not just walking or lying around, but really something active.

I have to commit to it. I do have a beautiful and clean swimming pool at our apartment, so I would like to commit myself to swim in the early morning at 6am. It makes me active.

The trick is to not look at my sister and not think of but: ‘What’s next?’ After I have exercised, now what?’.

E-mailing company’s, getting deals done, it has been 11 months now. It’s just me, behind the computer.

I am creating with my sister. But again that’s a partnership. The only thing I can do by myself, without a computer, is hiking or swimming. At 6 am. Am I able to do so?

I find it so cold in the morning….

Oh God, I do feel that I have to do it. Otherwise, I feel such a waste. Wasting the mornings…..

I like mornings so much! It gives me such a pleasure, it makes me active and alert.

I surrender to my feelings now a lot, I want to be in charge again. Just do it.

Well, I am going to do it, period. But those thoughts will come and will try to defeat me: ‘Ohh look at my sister, so cozy sleeping, why do I want this? I can do it tomorrow….’Β  I keep putting it off.

NO! I don’t want to be like that, that is not me. I am in charge and I am someone who can make something out of nothing. That is my ability.

I have to fool myself into believing that I am doing if for something, a cool incentive. A holiday trip.

Oeh, okay, we’ll see, Happy Saturday πŸ™‚

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All I need is Pastries, art and Sunny California; absolute bliss

I couldn’t sleep. In the morning I felt so defeated. I felt I had no engine to persevere. I invested my own funds into fulfilling my dreams, my purpose, in art. In January I had high hopes, but things are still pending. I asked myself what would I do if everything is lost anyway? I would still complete my art, at least I have something to hold on to.

But then a few moments later, things started to get brighter. And I started to be pro active. Take action.

There is no straight line that goes from A to B, not in life, but that’s the beauty, art is born from there. It is born from imperfection, of being lost. In order to gain something profound, I must know what losing means. So I appreciate the things that I have, so my eyes are open to the gifts that I do have in life.

Then finally after two weeks I was able to satisfy my desires. Eating luxurious and more importantly delicious pastries. I walked with my sister to the park and ate my macaroons. Pistachio macaroon, it was absolute bliss. Combined with nature’s tranquility. Beautiful. It gave me back my trust. I can’t deprive myself from these simple pleasures.

This is absolute bliss.

Having my macaroons, art and living in sunny LA, for me that is absolute bliss. Having my sister with me and supporting parents. I couldn’t ask for more. I am going with the flow. πŸ™‚

Creativity is flowing

I can’t even express how happy I am of how my journey is going. The fact that I can go outside, sunny weather, beautiful view, I immediately see the mountains, it’s absolutely amazing and breathtaking. This is perspective. Truly, every year seems an amazing year. It is going exactly the way it’s supposed to be. Glorious and magical.

I’m grateful for this pace and for this life. Tasty and beautiful food, great perspective, things to look out for, but more importantly, my present is truly a gift.

Having said that, it absolutely is not as easy as it looks to just create and follow my intuition. But if I have to choose, temporary pain, permanent pleasure or vice versa. Of course I choose the first one. Once I unravel the magic, creativity is flowing.

Beautiful things are happening and no I don’t physically see it, if the focus is on results. Simply because that is absolutely not what it is about. It is about taking actions. Forget about the rest, just step by step, baby step actions.

I love to give myself the best and I’m also blessed to have loving people around me.

Amen.

Good night, God bless

Letting everything go, Starting again tomorrow. All is well.

Good Evening my chocolates,

What a day today. I prepared a lamb curry dish, marinated the lamb, first time to make this dish. Made some vital errors, however it was still very tasty and tender. Fried it for 5 minutes in the pan with some Indian Spices, I put it in the oven for an hour and 15 minutes, quite delicious for the first time.

That’s the best way to learn. The dish is for two days, so I don’t have to cook extensively tomorrow.

So tomorrow I can focus on creating. I’m craving for something sweet now mmm.

Letting everything go, Starting again tomorrow. All is well.

God bless, have a beautiful night πŸ™‚

It’s timing, wait for the right person

Good Evening lovely chocolates,

One thing I have realized after watching an amazing film called: ‘The Terminal’, is to have patience. Wait, waiting can actually be worthwhile. I’m waiting for the right person to say yes. The right person with compassion can help. That person can turn the switch, can ‘override’.

Sometimes I have to wait longer, to get the right person. It all depends on that. Know who to speak to. Always go for passion first, creativity first.

While I am waiting, I am creating ofcourse. Creating doesn’t stop, I’m flowing and glowing. There is no green signal that tells me to create, I just start, out of nothing, something can be created.

Define Persistence. To me it means, keep going forward, but if one thing doesn’t work, I’ll try a new approach. It’s persistence combined with basic probability.

There are more ways that lead to Rome πŸ˜‰

Have a wonderful night πŸ™‚

I’ve been reminded again that truly Things can be achieved from nothing to something, with the right intention

God threw a small brick to remind me again:

I’ve been reminded again that truly Things can be achieved from nothing to something, with the right intention.

It is in the doing that things come alive, from nothing, I create. Create out of nothing, that is art.Β 

Trust, there is a God, he truly has my back, trust in the universe, There is something working for us, a force to make this happen, a reality.

What you put in, you get out. Quality is being put in, so that is being presented. Peace and harmony in house, that is what will be forwarded.

I get what I bring about, awesome πŸ™‚

This is life, I’m tasting it again. The joy, wonder and excitement.

I’m filled with joy, wonder and excitement. One thing I’ve learned from this journey, this life is that planning doesn’t work. No need to! Because God has a better plan, a more amazing plan.

I’m so blessed to have companionship with my sister. She is my right hand, I like doing groceries together, watching films together, working on our arts and crafts together, oh that’s all I’ve ever wanted. Because together there is more fun!

God reminded me to remember who I am again, by throwing a small brick. That’s okay, I’m glad it happened. Because I’m truly blessed and privileged.

There is some work to do, creative work, I work for what I want. ❀

Letting everything else go, the desires, the planning, just focusing on the work, because there truly is a bigger purpose here. Something big, beyond the universe.

So it’s okay, it keeps me going, it gives me drive. Focusing solely on the work, regardless of anything, with or without, I’m grateful for this life, thank you πŸ™‚

Happy Holidays!

I’m going for something bigger, bigger than myself, this is for the next generation, the new generation.

Hi my beautiful creative leaves,

I have listened so much of the outside noise that I started to lose my inner voice. I indeed wanted to become more than a commercial tycoon. I’m going for something bigger, bigger than myself, this is for the next generation, the new generation. I have to understand who I am first, I am an artist, a filmmaker. I have been working on my craft, building my craft. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, it really doesn’t. Because it is not about that. I’m very happy with what I have now.

I am doing this for the generation to come. Leaving something behind me, Art, valuable art. Whether that is in my storytelling, writing, I am leaving a message.

 

I don’t know what future has in store for me, but I trust God.

Sometimes it’s not about knowing what things will bring me, it’s about jumping and the net will appear. If I don’t take any action, nothing will happen that’s certain. I don’t know what future has in store for me, but I trust God. The sea can open by God, it’s all possible I jump. I couldn’t see, but slowly I see now. The only thing I can do is take the first step, I don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. It’s not up to me to decide whether things will work or not. God has given me this life, Β health to do the work, the mission to complete, which is why God has send me here.

I am the new generation and with the grace of God, anything is possible, absolutely anything ❀

Relax, loosen up, breathe

Cheer up and be glad that I’m me. That’s what I’ve realized today. Reminded by God. Emphasize about being thankful for what we have rather than getting what we want. Take time to smell the roses. So important. Being present at this moment, this evening. Back to basics. Back to humanity, the core of humanity is love, being kind.

Spread love and kindness. Love. Love everything. I love nature, it’s here. I’m grateful that I’m here and the way things are going.

Just inhaling and exhaling, take a breath. It’s all going to be fine at the end. It always works out, always.

I’m surrounded by good people, kind and helping parents, loving sister, great atmosphere, and peace. Surrounded by peace.

We live in beautiful times, it truly is time to create. I’m grateful to live and work in Los Angeles. It’s a city of compassion, where you can break the rules, where there are great opportunities. Its truly possible. ❀