Hi my lovely friends,
Sometimes I really don’t know what to do with some feedback I get. Yesterday, I went to the women in media breakfast event and I met someone who organizes a film festival event. I told her about my film and perhaps it would fit for her film festival and perhaps she knows some women magazines who can write about my short film, which is made by a female director, my sister. And currently it is being considered for ‘My Hero film festival’. Anyway, she was happy to help out. I’ve send her my short film and press kit via e-mail. Today, at 3.00pm I received an e-mail from her. I was very excited to hear her thoughts and if she knew some potential film festivals and magazines who would be interested in our short film. However, the feedback I got was to basically change the core of the film. I’m fine with feedback, constructive feedback, but somehow there was a hint of ‘you won’t get anywhere with your film’. ‘Oh Homelessness, no one cares‘. At the event itself she sounded a bit negative and my intuition told me, that she doesn’t see the opportunities that COULD come your way. I still asked for some advice though, you never know. Now, I do know that the publishers told JK Rowling to get rid of the core of her book ‘Harry Potter’, which is the character ‘Voldermort’. She got rejected 13 times, by the biggest publishers and still went on. That’s an inspiration for me. If I really think I should change it, I would. However, something tells me that I should go on with the short film that me and my sister made.
Honestly speaking, there comes a time that you just have to send what you have, or else you keep changing the film, book, music whatever it is, because so and so find it more interesting that way. Arghhh, I really want my short film to be selected! I’m battling with a lot of rejection and sexual frustration as well. That’s why I want this film to get recognized even more! So I can shift my focus to the outer world instead of focusing too much on my inner feelings. My thoughts can easily go to darkness and can go to a place of regret and ‘why I didn’t choose for that person over my career’ and ‘why I’ve chosen for the most challenging career in the world ACTING?!’ It goes in a split second, but I’m very determined to think POSITIVE. I PUSH MYSELF to think in a productive, positive and healthy way. I deserve to be HAPPY.
It makes me happy, if I can contribute to the society through my films. Everyday, there is a new hope, everyday, I wake up and pray for balance in my life. I appreciate my life and I’m healthy. That’s what I remind myself everyday, to keep going. Just keep going. Right now, you’re a big part that keeps me going 😉 And of course my favorite TV soap, which puts me in an exciting state and gives me the hope that there are gentlemen out there 😉 Because secretly, even though I’ve ‘let go’, secretly I’m still hoping for that one guy, my hero, my gentleman, who knows what I want. Secretly, I still wait for that moment. Even though, I would like to be this powerful independent single woman, that I would like to project to the world, right now, I still have my moments of despair. Which is okay, as long as I keep going, all is well;)
Love you all a lot!