A little bit what is left over from society is in my mother. I am so fed up. Honestly speaking I’ve already made it, this is a life long journey. I am not saying that my dad is the best, he certainly isn’t, but then again there is no such thing as a ‘perfect’ parent. I am grateful that my father is supporting me at this moment, I am enjoying the ride. I have worked, I know what it is, but God knows about efficiency.
I am sorry to say, but perhaps I will stay forever single, I am perfectly fine with that. I have a sister and great parents, only my mother doesn’t want to see that. I am grateful for what I have now. I am not questioning this journey, I am walking and have surrender to the will of God.
For so long I have already tried and pushed things, it was for the worse, I am done with that. I have faith and I trust. I am so over this doubt, this worry, what will happen and what if it doesn’t. That doesn’t exist in my world, the what ifs. I’ll cross the bridge when I get there.
I am 28 years and I am proud of myself for jumping before seeing the net. For making bold moves and still mastering my art, my skill. I am still learning. Still a student of life. I was a top student, topped everything, and for her it’s still not enough. Because she doesn’t see it. I am so done with that.
It will work, it’s already working. Everything what happens is to learn about life, to grow. It’s about growing. If people can’t see it, it’s none of my business. Absolutely none of my business.
This whole system, it’s okay. I don’t want to say, oh gosh, again a raise, or payments after payments. It’s okay, this is a world we’re living in. I am able to overcome this, I am able to go through this. I can overpower this system. Again, circumstance does not define me, I am who I am. I am still a happy girl.
This is just a worldly thing, this is peanuts, this is truly peanuts. I can go through this.
My whole life I had this anxiety, this push, either it was from those stupid girls in high school, numbers, relatives, who were saying when will I get there, or popularity conquest. and now my own mother. Last year it was the land lord.
I am done. Every time when I look back, I’m thinking, had I known this, I would have lived. So today I am starting to live. Live in faith, I trust. Because beautiful things happened.
I love my life. I can’t change the way my parents think, but I know that I love every bit of my journey, ever since I came to Los Angeles. I don’t care what people think, each day I am working on myself, on my own self worth.
I am worth it.
Thank you God for everything, with you I have confidence. I have confidence in the universe, I know it’s working and the power has been unleashed. Only time will tell.
In God I trust.