Break the ceiling

It has to happen. I am in a glass ceiling right now, but I am trying to open, break it, every single day. I want it. I really want it. It has to happen. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes. No sleep, constant e-mailing, submitting, making movies, reading scripts, acting. This is just the beginning. I am discovering more things.

I am taking risks, still have a smile on my face, very enthusiastic and very energetic. It has to be done. It will be done. How and When, that I don’t know. But there are ways. There are more ways that lead to Rome. I will figure it out. The more rejection I face, the stronger I get, I become more innovative.

Yesterday, I took Hot Power Yoga, after such a long time, since I was saving money. But because I worked hardcore last week, I got the opportunity to take this class again. It was either working for someone else, or taking a risk and feed my body. It was so worth it. It really is worth it, to relax my body for an hour, stretching, doing yoga, working out. It makes me so happy. It gives me more energy and fuel.

I am finding ways to break it. Break this ceiling, that the world has created. I will break it. Tables will be turned. In time, let’s see!

How to get out of the anxiety mode

Good afternoon,

Going out of my way, caring for my loved ones, even though my life is not going exactly the way I want. That puts me into a giving mode, instead of the selfish mode.

Simple tools I used and am using today, to be productive and think progressively:

  • Before I started my work, I walked in nature
  • Push to put a smile on my face. Whether I feel it or not, I will fake it till I make it. And it helps.
  • Take the actions if I would have achieved it. That is celebrate life and still doing my work. Having a positive mentality, laugh, smile. Even though my heart is aching, I put a smile on my face.
  • Listening to great, uplifting music, dance they way I would, if I would have exactly what I want. Push it from the inside out, that inner feeling can be pushed. It really can.
  • Laugh, pushing myself to watch comedy, great, fun stuff, to get in that positive, happy mode. I’m gonna die anyways, we all will, why not with a smile.

Bottom line, PUSH, really Pushing myself into greatness. Having that positive mentality. Doing all the task I have to do, with a positive mentality. Because it will never work if I think: ‘Oh, well I can do it, but it will never work.’ I mean yes, I am doing the action, but either I can do it, or with the mentality that it will work. Because if it doesn’t, well we’ll see what happens. Always think of the positive outcome. I can only do that by pushing. PUSH! It is one of the biggest reason to get out of the anxiety mode and get into the productive happy mode. And that my friend is created all by myself.

Take Destiny Into Your Own Hands

Good Morning luxurious birds,

Believe it or not, but today it was very challenging to wake up. I put my alarm at 5’o clock. But I woke up at 7am. Yesterday, things happened and again I felt that things were out of my control. I was aware that I was thinking the way I used to. My sister booked a film, something that I really want, but still did not get. I felt a little bit of resentment, however this time it wasn’t towards her, I really want her to succeed. But what about me? All these thoughts came into my mind, I cried, I said out loud: ‘Why don’t I get it, I am kind, I am not selfish anymore, I am providing for the family, I do what I can, Why am I not getting it? Since I said these thoughts out loud, I went with that energy to work. I was again pessimistic, said out loud: ‘I will not make it, whatever I do, it doesn’t work, I cannot act anymore, I am a terrible actress, nobody wants me.’

Wow, it drained me and I couldn’t do anything anymore after work. All these thoughts, saying it out loud, it depleted my energy. Last week, because of my consistent work, perseverance, and not feeding negative thoughts, I got opportunities. As a result of that, today I don’t have to work for someone else. Today I am working for my own company, my own name. I get the opportunity to work for myself. But instead, I focused on what others, in this case, what my sister was getting. And what God has in mind for me, would go away, since I am putting my energy and focus on someone else. That is such a pity, that is so unfortunate. I could have gotten something more powerful….perhaps…..

But today there is another day, another chance, another opportunity. Whatever will happen, whatever decisions are made, I keep going, taking destiny into my own hands. It has to work, it’s basic probability. It might not work the day I want to, It might not go exactly the way I want to, but it will happen. Because I am doing the best I can right now. Everyday.

I am aware of my old habits and new ones. I know the difference and I know what it does to me. I choose to be optimistic, regardless of my circumstances. That is my new habit. My old habit was, waiting for something to happen, so I can feel optimistic. No! I choose to take destiny into my own hands. Because I can. I really can, I have seen it. It is not ‘luck’, it is working towards it. Every single day. With a smile :)

Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety nine percent perspiration.

Happy Tuesday!

Everybody wants it, only a few gets it.

Good Morning my lovely munchkins,

It’s a beautiful Saturday, I woke up, did my usual stretching and cleaned the bathroom, cooked veggies and now I am here, ready to write a post. After this, I will go to a test show and then we’ll see.

There’s something I’ve learned yesterday, which I knew, but it’s good to remind myself on a daily basis. The one who wants it, who is asking for it, who is talking about it, who thinks that success means fame, will most definitely not get it. I have been there and done that. Right now I am in an action mode. Where I don’t talk about it, with anyone. I even try to decrease the conversation with my loved ones about it. Because the one who gets it, is usually the one who cares less about it, talks about the moment, is positive, talks less and does more, is focused on their own goals.  Yesterday someone said, there are people who will never make it. Several people asked me several questions: ‘ So you’re trying to be an actress? Who’s your agent, is it going well? Do you have work? Did you book principal leading roles? Did you have big roles? Why did you come here?’ Wow, I mean what could I say? These people obviously think that you’re only an ‘actress’, when I am ‘famous’.

It was pointless to prove something to them, there is nothing to prove, if they already have their pre-conceived notion. Because define success. Really define it. Then I met another person, he didn’t ask me anything. I on the contrary asked him. Based on his answer, I again received the secret to life: ‘It’s not about ‘getting’ it, it’s being yourself, doing your work and move on. Not stagnating, keep going. Even when I have achieved where I want to be, I still have to continue and do the work.’ 

The difference between the people who were asking me these questions and that other person? Those people were not the lead in this job, they were background and the other person was the lead. I also was a background. There is a huge difference. Not in the position, but in their thinking, their mentality. Why do most of the people remain where they are and a few rise from the gutter. It’s the way they think. The people who rise beyond their circumstances, they think differently.

Every time someone was making a negative remark, I kept saying, I am blessed to be here. It’s a good life. I am happy what I receive. Big or small roles, background or lead, I am blessed and fortunate to be here. Unlike the country where I came from, In the US, EVERYBODY gets a chance, EVERYBODY. That’s a privilege, a wonderful opportunity. And with this positive thought, positive thinking and go get mentality I’ve made it here. That’s all I ever wanted. If I get more, that’s a bonus. I am spreading positive energy and giving love. Appreciating my parents and my sister. Being kind to her. Because after shooting, doing what I love, I come home and see my sister. I enter into another environment and have fun with her. Laugh it off.

That’s where I balance my life and that is being successful. In order to balance professional and private life. That’s the only way I can continue what I do, with balance. It’s not about just ‘working’, it’s also about enjoying life, regardless of the current circumstances. That is success. Only a few comprehends it and that’s one of the biggest reason, why a few gets it. ;)

Enjoy life, laugh and be in the moment. Talk less, do more!

Happy Saturday!

It’s all about positive energy

Good Evening ladies and gentlemen,

It is true what they say, when you have reached the point where you just want to breath, that’s when you become ‘successful’. Meaning, I will definitely find ways to get there. Absolutely. You know why? I simply don’t care about where others are, or what they think. All I think about is what can I do, to get there.

I have cried, 2 days ago, but really saying to God: ‘I surrender, it hurts too much.’ However, after that I did what I need to do. I did my work and I am still doing my work. I have only slept for 4 hours, consistently for 3 days. I have been working, e-mailing, pitching, I kept going. It payed off. I earned money for rent, booked a gig, whether it’s small or big, I appreciate it. I received an e-mail from one of the top agencies in USA, for potentially being represented by them theatrically. I also received an e-mail back for potentially broadcasting my short film, which received a selection of a film festival. The interviews are next week and the following week. We’ll see how that goes ;)

It’s all about being positive, even though the circumstances aren’t. Being positive meaning, just doing the actions, having the mentality that it will work. It has to work. There is no other option. I gave away positive energy, I just gave it, even though people around me where the opposite. It again paid off, suddenly they started seeing things differently. My center is enthusiasm, that’s essentially me. And when I am myself, really myself, being full of life, seeing an opportunity in everything, it is contagious. I am becoming my authentic self, which is really good. Thumbs up! There will always be problems and but the focus is on the solution.

Also I met a guy at a commercial today, who was the principal lead. I asked him, how was the audition and why do you think you got it? He said: ‘I was the only one who was being ‘normal’, instead of exaggerating. Plus, I honestly didn’t really care, I did my work and moved on.’

That’s where it hit me and that’s how life works. I always get things, when ‘I don’t care’. Not to be mistaken with ‘not doing the work.’ I am still doing the work, but I am also moving on. There is always a way, always. For the past week, I haven’t checked anyone I know on social media, I didn’t compare and I focused on myself. I still have to work on it more, definitely not there yet. But it is a step in the right direction. Step by step, brick by brick. Stay positive, give positive energy and life will start opening up again.

Happy Friday and Good night!

It hurts so much

Now that I want it so bad, I am not able to breathe, I am crying. It hurts so much, rejection after rejections. Rejection letters are piled up. Bills, credit cards, rent to pay, for the first time I have to pay this all by myself. I can’t, I am honest about it. I have applied for jobs, got hired, signed for 2 agencies and still not being submitted. I also have another job, but I only have half of the rent right now. I feel hopeless. I can’t disturb my mom. I feel pain. I mean I will work ….(just got a text msg for work) wow thank god, with some things that I have sold, I am able to pay the rent. Damn, I feel so much pressure. I live day by day. Okay, this msg gave me a little relieve. What an insecure jon this is. Sometimes I do want security…someone to hold me and tell me, here 10,000 dollars, go follow your dream. I had that 3 years ago ;) Now I have to provide for myself.

I’m gonna learn my script, that I printed out myself. Nobody is hiring me, I hope The universe will respond. I really hope so. I really do.

In it, to win it.

When you are obligated to do something else, obligated to work, in order to pursue a dream, that’s where I realized that I have to work for my dream. I have to put more effort into my career. I am waiting. My thoughts are saying yes, but my actions are still ‘waiting’ to hear a yes and then act.

There is so much to do, it might be overwhelming, but If I won’t do it, nobody will do it. I am here to win. I have been here for three years, I can assure you, I am here to win. I am not here to see my dream, my rightful position to pass me by. I am here to WIN and it is POSSIBLE.

So far, I have applied for several ‘business’ job positions and did several job interview. All of them were eager to see me, hearing me out and several wanted to hire me. I accepted one. But again, what I have to do for a company, that’s what I have to do for myself. I can put all this energy into a company, but why not putting all of these effort into my career? Why am I sitting back and ‘waiting’ for something to happen. In any business, it requires the same effort and energy. All of them had similarities, it really doesn’t matter what job or career I take, all of them requires the same amount of work.

Now I have the time to work for myself, I have to take this opportunity and do it. I will have to take responsibility of my own career. Before it is too late and then I am obligated to work for someone else, where I get a fixed salary, but not living up to my full potential. What do I choose?

Human beings

Good Morning people!

I just made a fresh ‘Banana-Pineapple-Avocado-Flaxseed Smoothie’. Mmm, it’s delicious and gives me a great morning boost. Before I wanted to write something, I checked the news page at msn.com and read that the European population is slowly dying. Wow, here I was concerned about not getting ‘bookings’ or other career things and back in Europe the population is dying out! This is not something that I can brush it off and can go forward with my life pretending that the world is a ‘happy’ place. It can be, of course, but human beings, breathing, existence that is so fragile and I realize it even more, day by day.

Ever since I came from Europe to the USA, to pursue my dream, I realize it even more, that I cannot take my dear ones for granted. Everyday I try to be grateful for what God has given me and I am making amends to improve my relationship with my sister. To not be so goddamn selfish. Because I was. I always thought that when I have my career, I will give her my ‘love’. It would be too late. I am grateful that I realize it now, so I can take the steps right now to change it. She can see that my behavior is changing towards her and she is also giving me love and positive vibes again, like she used to.

Just imagine, if there were no people out there, no healthy competition, nobody to share things with. Then what is the value of my career, money etc. I mean I need people, in a healthy way. To say hi to, to smile to, to laugh with, to share things with. We are human beings. So fragile.

I appreciate you and thank you for being there. Thank you, because of you I exist.

Much love

Valentine’s message

Valentine’s day, was a beautiful day, with my sis, we took lots of pics ;)

Unfortunately I took my sister, mom and dad for granted. Money comes and goes, but I’ve realised life is fragile. Breathing. I at least can say I have parents, a mom and a dad who are there for me, who loves me, who is honest, and loves me for who I am, not for what I am. Thank u. I hope I can make it up to my sis in deeds. Thank you🌺🌺

Loving Family

Happy Sunday dear ones!

Today I woke up at 8am, did my usual stretching and went hiking. Initially I felt anxious, when I woke up. But I shifted my thoughts into ‘doing’ and made myself ready.

I also thought of doing something nice for my sister, without expecting amything in return. I bought breakfast and chocolates for her and it made her very happy! She really deserves all love and I’m ready to give that to her! Regardless of whether I will ‘succeed’ in life or not, I keep giving her love.

Money comes and goes, but relationships is something that fills the house. I might have a big house, ‘awesome’ career and an ‘awesome’ car, but if I can’t share it with anyone, what’s the point? I mean at least I can share it with my sister! House, possessions, bank balance are there to share, give. My family is important. So what if it’s going ‘slow’ in my career, at least I have a lovig family. They always have my back and you know what? Finally I can say to them: ‘I’ve got your back!’ ;)

Big hug, lots of love and Happy Sunday!