I cannot break the ceiling all at once. It takes one step at a time. I have to get there first.

In order to beat the system, I have to humble myself. So the system cannot get to me. Every one is facing hardships in there own way. Some in health department, some in financial department, some in relationship department, the key is to humble myself, see reality as it is, and move on.

Going forward.

It is what it is.

What do I have?

I do have my health, my parents and my sister. I do have my art, electric and amazing place to stay at.

Right now being challenged with hunger, but it’s okay. A new day is going to come.

Even in school, I had to get deadlines, I stalled eating to meat deadlines…

It’s okay, this system is here, it exists, trying to make us obedient. I cannot break the ceiling all at once. It takes one step at a time. I have to get there first.


Following intuition above date

It is absolutely imperative to use intuition above data. Ofcourse, one needs to recognize what intuition is. Is it the inner voice, or voice of society?

I’ve been practicing to follow my intuition for a long time now. It often doesn’t seem logical, but I am trusting it. Because somehow my intuition always was correct. If I look back, I can say for certain, that my intuition is accurate.

In addition to that, when the intention is clear, the action is clear. My intention is to be committed, finish what I’ve started. And I am just getting started. It might have been 6 years into this journey of creativity, but truly my engine is just starting. I needed that 6 years, to build up experience. It’s not that I haven’t tried, I’ve tried many things, regardless of the magnificent results I have received, I am still learning. One can truly not know enough.

Having said that, I always jump before I see the net. That takes incredible amount of courage, because I am dealing with fear here. I do it anyway. How? I truly don’t think, when I need to jump and I see, there is absolutely no other way, I just do it. Somehow, when I do it, the net appears.

Past data shows how to do a certain thing, there is a whole blue print of other people’s success. But the thing is: one size does not fit all. It all depends on the individual person. It’s about recalculating constantly. That’s okay, that’s part of life. It’s not linear, it can go up and down.

Because in recalculation, there is a consistency, which I have tapped into. What is constant, is my commitment. I am committed to my essence. Happiness and kindness, being playful and full of life, regardless of circumstance. Because somehow it always works out 🙂

It is possible, but only if I’m willing to lose the battle to win the war

Good Afternoon Beautiful people,

I woke up excited today, with full of faith. I am thinking forward. Finally. I got the epiphany yesterday. After several phone calls of trying to negotiate to refund fees, lower bills etc, and not winning these battles, I lost perspective. I can fight for every injustice that is happening, but that is depleting my energy.

I had to move on, because my life goes on. Thereafter, I did the groceries and from there beautiful things happened, I got compensated exactly what I was asking for. So I lost a few battles, but I get it back from somewhere else 🙂

Which means, anything is possible. there is perspective and it’s all okay. I can’t see it, but God can.

I don’t want to go in argument with people who are unreasonable. I want to win the war, that’s what I came for. This is a beautiful journey and God provides. With patience and faith, it can happen. Yes, that means that I will lose several battles, but if it means that at the end I will win the war, I’m willing to lose. Plus in willing to lose I got a release.

It’s okay, the system often backs up the injustice. But then there is humanity. Kind people who step out and make another system, where we don’t have to deal with the old system;)

There is a new day, with patience things do get rectified. I love my journey and the pace. I can smell the roses, see the beautiful hummingbirds, I can sleep well, I’m living in a nice and peaceful environment, it’s beautiful.

With love and kindness things can be turned around. With humbleness I win. It’s all okay.

God bless, have a great evening.


I can overpower the system, I am able to overcome this. In God I trust

A little bit what is left over from society is in my mother. I am so fed up. Honestly speaking I’ve already made it, this is a life long journey. I am not saying that my dad is the best, he certainly isn’t, but then again there is no such thing as a ‘perfect’ parent. I am grateful that my father is supporting me at this moment, I am enjoying the ride. I have worked, I know what it is, but God knows about efficiency.

I am sorry to say, but perhaps I will stay forever single, I am perfectly fine with that. I have a sister and great parents, only my mother doesn’t want to see that. I am grateful for what I have now. I am not questioning this journey, I am walking and have surrender to the will of God.

For so long I have already tried and pushed things, it was for the worse, I am done with that. I have faith and I trust. I am so over this doubt, this worry, what will happen and what if it doesn’t. That doesn’t exist in my world, the what ifs. I’ll cross the bridge when I get there.

I am 28 years and I am proud of myself for jumping before seeing the net. For making bold moves and still mastering my art, my skill. I am still learning. Still a student of life. I was a top student, topped everything, and for her it’s still not enough. Because she doesn’t see it. I am so done with that.

It will work, it’s already working. Everything what happens is to learn about life, to grow. It’s about growing. If people can’t see it, it’s none of my business. Absolutely none of my business.

This whole system, it’s okay. I don’t want to say, oh gosh, again a raise, or payments after payments. It’s okay, this is a world we’re living in. I am able to overcome this, I am able to go through this. I can overpower this system. Again, circumstance does not define me, I am who I am. I am still a happy girl.

This is just a worldly thing, this is peanuts, this is truly peanuts. I can go through this.

My whole life I had this anxiety, this push, either it was from those stupid girls in high school, numbers, relatives, who were saying when will I get there, or popularity conquest. and now my own mother. Last year it was the land lord.

I am done. Every time when I look back, I’m thinking, had I known this, I would have lived. So today I am starting to live. Live in faith, I trust. Because beautiful things happened.

I love my life. I can’t change the way my parents think, but I know that I love every bit of my journey, ever since I came to Los Angeles. I don’t care what people think, each day I am working on myself, on my own self worth.

I am worth it.

Thank you God for everything, with you I have confidence. I have confidence in the universe, I know it’s working and the power has been unleashed. Only time will tell.

In God I trust.

From pushing to just being

By the end of 2014, I only had one goal, getting closer to myself. Who am I? Now I’m here, 2018, and who I am is reflecting my environment. I am the flower, nature, that is me. I feel peaceful.

You see, for so long I have been pushing myself, turning and molding myself into something I was not. But who I really am, is just being.

Life happens, that is the law of nature. I use to create drama, because that’s all I knew, I thought I have to make life exciting in that way. But I don’t need to anymore. I surrender to the will of God.

This period is tranquil. I have elevated into something higher. I am in peace, that is my essence. I know God will guide me. What I need to do, practical things, those are worldly things, I don’t need to think about that, just do it.

Regarding my art, my purpose, that will happen, it is a desire that will come from withing again. Again I will take this year as it comes.

I use to push, even in the little things. Seeing miles a far, that the traffic light is still green, trying to run for it, just to make it ‘in time’. This time, I just waited patiently, just walked. When I need to run, I will. Don’t need to push anymore.

Initially I had to push my happiness, now I am happy. Going outside makes me happy. Yes, there is initially a little resistance, but I went for it, because I know I need to go outside, be with nature.

I thank God for this beautiful journey and I trust God, it will tell me what my next step is. It’s taking baby step, one step at a time. It’s the only way, it’s the only way I got to the Holy land, my California.

Happy New Year lovely people! 🙂


A fresh morning uplift from nature

Good Morning lovely people,

Merry Christmas! I just went outside for a morning walk and it was super silent. Very tranquil, ohh I love that!

The fresh air and a little bit of coldness gives me a fresh uplift.

Nature is so beautiful, the colors of the mountains and the houses on the hills, only nature can come up with such a design.

The latest shortfilm which I have produced is truly a gift to watch. I’m happy that I am able to work with such talented people, such as the director, beautiful work. LOVE IT.

Everything I have worked on is top notch quality, I love it.

I shine in warm weather, so happy to be here.

I really should walk everyday, but it worked today, because it was tranquil. So I just have to pick those days 🙂

Yes! Merry Christmas, Happy Monday!


Reflecting upon this year, a beautiful breeze

It’s important to find focus in life, I needed that. And my oh my, I found that focus. Life taught me about focus. There is a sense of purpose.

Don’t think that life stops what meets the eye. It’s usually what you don’t see. There is a lot of clarity, love and harmony within me. I have a lot, but I don’t show. I could have stayed back in Europe and go once a year on a holiday. Or I could live at the destination where I can fulfill my dreams and have a holiday every day. I chose the latter. It sounds magical, it is. I didn’t want to work the whole year, just for a two week of holiday. I wanted the full experience. Career and a holiday experience.

Is it everyday magical? No, of course not, but life is about finding solutions and going around it. Just make life easy and go around it.

Every time when I look up I see the mountains, this is it. Being close to nature.

I already have everyting what I need. All the tools to make the life I want. I already am living the life I want. Regardless of the results.

I’ve faced many rejections on business level, but on a personal level I have grown, we’re going strong.

My daily life already consists of being together with family. I work with my sister, together we work towards a legacy. We share love and happiness, everyday. No need to escape anymore. Content is king.

I’ve gained a lot of knowledge and skills. Skills are becoming stronger and stronger, more developed. I love storytelling.

After six years of living in Los Angeles, I have just touched the surface. This is truly just the beginning. There is so much more find out about life, so much more I don’t know.

The little things in life does make me happy and I have received it. Having a beautiful apartment, eating nice macaroons, yes on a private level, wow my life is great.

Business level, this year, actually I’ve tried to launch a couple of products in an innovative ways, but hey it’s innovative, so it’s going to take some time. Didn’t expect it would take more than a year, but that’s okay, I trust God’s timing. God is giving me holding power. Power of longevity, so it doesn’t matter when, it’s going to happen, period.

At least I have a nice rest place that I can call my home, with a swimming pool as a view. I love it.

I couldn’t ask for me, it is going just beautifully. This year was a beautiful breeze.

Merry Christmas!

Oh my it’s Christmas! Live free, with love and joy

Good Afternoon my lovely christmas pastries!

I’ve travelled the world and celebrated Christmas almost everywhere, in the most luxurious hotels. At the beach, beautiful. Now, for the first time, I am happy about the fact that I am celebrating Christmas at home. Because this apartment is very nice and feels warm and cozy.

I think I am accepting what is, rather than how it should be. The idea sounds great of being elsewhere, but I can’t talk about that at the moment, because that is out of my control. This is now what I have.

Last year I had Christmas in a different apartment, that place taught me about life. It taught me about being present and only looking of what I have and being at peace with that. Because I have a lot of things to be grateful for, things that I don’t even see with my human eyes.

However, I made a strong wish before Christmas. I wanted to be more creative and launch something. The last two years it has been two short films respectively. My sister designed an accessory and we’re in the process of making another product.

My holiday at the beach, I think will be next year. Of course if it was presented to be right now, I would have taken it. But this whole year I had a lot of rest. No escape needed.   But it’s good to treat yourself. So this year has been a year about eating delightful food, with lots of macaroons and pastries. The best of the best.

That is very important to me, that I like my day to day life. I am working towards something.

Also, if there is one thing I have learned, it’s not about having it or not, if God presents me a beautiful gift, I’ll take it, with no questions asked. I deserve the good things in life and in my art I am contributing. But I have to give myself happiness.

Success is a routine, going outside is a must, at least for me. It gives me perspective. Today I went outside and thank God, what a life. It’s a beautiful place. It made me forget about certain ‘responsibilities’, it’s important to live. 

Live free! I have to listen to my inner voice, take a leap of faith, it’s all going to be fine. Alls well that ends well. 

Trust God’s timing, things will be more efficient

Good Afternoon my lovely bees!

It’s a beautiful Saturday, clear blue sky, grateful for this clarity. Timing is everything. I learned to understand that Gods timing is better than our human timing 😉

Trust God’s timing. This whole year has been a rest for me, which was beautiful and needed. Due to technology, such as Uber, I can go everywhere. I use to do groceries by bus. Uber has actually become cheaper than the bus and is by all means more efficient. I am investing all of my funds into my arts. A car was and is a tool.

6 years ago I was in Amsterdam, I was upset with God’s timing at the time. ‘Why is it going slow, why am I not at my destination yet, I also want to experience life‘, those were the thoughts. Ofcourse, now I would say to my past self: ‘Trust God’s timing, it’s better this way, with God’s timing things will be more efficient.’

I focus on the beautiful life that I have, obstacles come, but I am not defined by that. I work around it :)

Good Morning my delicious avocados,

This past week has taught me something significant. For a whole week I was appreciative towards everything, it came from the heart.

In addition to that, I also was doing more, talking less. I talked with purpose. I focused on my life, on my purpose.

I focused on what was going well in my life, a lot of things 🙂

I spend all my time on being practical and focusing on all the necessary things in my life.

I stand for creativity, that’s what I focused on, everything else started to flow from that.

Going with the flow.

This is a beautiful life, before that I watched disturbing content, looking elsewhere a lot, not related to my life, but suddenly I started to feel like I was living that life. And that is dangerous, because then the thoughts start to come, I start to react, and my action changed. Oef, I don’t want to do that anymore.

My thoughts, words and action do become destiny.

I focus on the beautiful life that I have, obstacles come, but I am not defined by that. I work around it 🙂