What gives me rest?

What gives me rest? To have something of my own. To provide for me and my family, hmm, but many have that goal.

I was sitting on the balcony, looking at the poolview, drinking my coffee. Remembering hawaii, waking up at 6am, looking at the ocean, there is a lot of tranquility. My outside circumstances are tranquil. This is what I wanted.

I have to confess, that these past few weeks, there was a lot of turbulence going on inside of me. I was comparing, only talking about what I don’t want, no positive outlook, focusing on mistakes, looking at other people, how far they are, are they ahead?

When I was at the other apartment for years, I realized something. I basically didn’t have a kitchen, we bought an electric stove, with two pits to warm the pan on, the washing machine didn’t clean the clothes properly, the elevator was a hassle, leakage, mold, outside noise, there was so much going on, I couldn’t dare to complain ironically. I focused on my work and appreciated life.

I’m living at the best unit, awesome apartment, everything is clean, I earned this place, tranquil and luxury again. I must not forget what I’ve been through, it was a stepping stone of inner rest.

I already have everything, I just couldn’t see it.

This is a commitment to myself to just focus on my track, my needs and wants. There is no point to see who’s ahead or not. If I want to be on top, have complete monopoly, I should go and reach for another planet, where no one is there, must me on every magazine. One person to read it, just me.

What would I do if I was on a different planet? I would litterly want to enlighten planet earth. Planet earth is a beautiful planet. beautiful ocean, nature, delicious food. I would enlighten the planet and share my positivity, my enthousiasm, my knowledge that I have acquired.

Ho w can I enlighten the planet, I’m a spec in the universe, but how can I make the most out of this life? I am a human, I cam bound to make mistakes, that is okay, it really doesn’t matter as long as I’m trying. As long as I do my past.

Yes, I wanted all eyes on me, especially when I see people with no intention of ‘helping other’s getting a high appraisal, what am I doing then?

This life is tranquil, it is people’s choice to be fooled, but it’s there choice. Who am I to determine if someone is going the right or wrong way? that’s not up to me. If I want change, I have to take my step.

I woke up early today, I see what I have. I have a lot. My diamonds are my parents and sister. If I can buy a beautiful, big sofa, where I can sit with my whole family watching Lucy show, that would be priceless. I’m 27. When I was 21, I thought I should have started earlier. How naive, I started at a perfect age.

When I was studying I said, I have to complete it, so I can go to Dubai and live there. I live in LA now, perfect spot.

I became the best, top student of the class, without wanting it. I just did my work. I’m not here to be the best, it doesn’t work for me.

 

I’m going forward. Congratulations, let’s celebrate life!

Putting faith into action works. Law of attraction works. I’m working on my first feature film. I’m definitely not the first, because it’s not about being the first, it’s about being your best.

I might not have the funds, the actors, location yet, but if I don’t make a start, the universe cannot respond. It responds to my actions. It responds to whatever I’m focusing on, wherever I put my energy to. It’s very strong. Extremely strong, the universe responds quickly.

It goes fast, I’m working on it, because what I’ve learned from this journey is that I have to work on it, start and the rest will flow. It’s all about doing the work and everything else will fall into place.

Trust. I’ve learned this in LA, USA, where I found myself, where God is the greatest. Where everything is possible, where time is infinite. Where there is no rush, where there is love, acceptance, no judgement.

I took the opportunity and moved forward and now I can experience the power of Hollywood.

My ultimate purpose, dream in life. I’m so happy that I took the step, discovered the unknown. Something beautiful flourished.

I’m going forward. Congratulations, let’s celebrate life!

 

I chose for integrity, longevity and humanity, all of that seemed impossible. But slowly it becomes visible, the universe is making it happen.

There are so many things I would like to tell you mom, It will be hard to say over the phone. I learned a lot from my sister. When things happen and suddenly it gets solved, why make a problem what if this or that happened. It didn’t happen, period. My relationship with my dad became overtime stronger. I understand my dad now. In life bold choices have to be made. It is important. Time and destiny, what will happen, will happen, it cannot be stopped from happening.

Calculated risks are important in life to go further. I chose for integrity, longevity and humanity, all of that seemed impossible. But slowly it becomes visible, this is the vision of God.

I don’t know if I will win, but it will be a beautiful game. I am not afraid of who I am am. I always wanted to go for natural beauty, less make up, natural. I wanted to provide entertainment by making films, provide a beautiful experience. But not be like everybody else.

By being sick for a day, I realized that I I have to rest and take my time.

At 8.30am I went for a nice cold swim. What a beautiful life. I can swim anytime. I love it. I’m very grateful for this life.

I am a camel and I realize it to the core. I’m taking taking my time. It’s not about being the first, it’s about doing my best and do everything with quality, to the best of my ability. It’s very important to experience life and to focus on my journey.

Yesterday, I had a fever, didn’t feel well, I had a headache. I realized at that moment, that I have to rest and take my time to do everything. I can’t do everything all once. quality takes time, I’m okay with that. Quite frankly, the past is gone, the future is not in my hands, the present is all I have.

There are a lot of things I would like to do, a lot of things I would like to achieve, but it can be too overwhelming. I’m taking my time, the rest I leave up to God.

Success or failure is subjective. What matters is what’s happening inside.

Thank you God for everything, for this journey, for bringing me in a country with like minded people. I realize what success truly is. Success or failure is subjective. In society’s standard it means the more of the green stuff, big car, big house, which is fine and beautiful, but it’s a tool, not a destination.

Nevertheless, what matters is what goes inside of us, what is happening inside. Am I happy or do I feel as if I’m living in a routine. I followed my intuition and inside I’m happy. Of course I’m happy that I’m back in a luxurious apartment with tranquility.

I’m happy that I can focus on my creativity and art and more importantly I can rest.

Getting up early, Creating, gives perspective to life

Hi lovely cherries,

This whole week I’ve been up on my feet, getting up early, creating, shooting my own promos, hosting my own show.

I’m becoming the instrument of the creator.

There is no point in asking, ‘what’s the point of getting up early, what’s the point of this and that’. If I ask that, I might as well give up life, because I don’t know, does anyone ever know what will become of them? I think that is what life is all about. Not knowing, just doing.

Getting up early, greeting nature, before I do anything else, makes me realize why it’s worth it. I greet God that way and when I go to sleep, I pray. It gives me peace and trust in the universe.

It doesn’t matter what I like, I might get those things, and get everything but still have nothing. I am grateful that I surrendered, put my ego away and went with God. Because internally I finally can say that I have everything.

Thank God, my eyes are open, I can see.

It doesn’t matter what I think, it’s all about the actions. Doing things, even when I’m making mistakes, that’s great, it means I’m doing something, I’m learning.

Everything is already in me, whenever I take the actions, I can see. Whenever I am selfless, I can see. By I can see I mean that I see what God’s intention is for me.

It’s all about choices. Talent lies in choices.

Foundation should be build with quality, once that is build there is no looking back, God has got my back now.

Good Morning,

This is a letter to my mom, I can’t say it in real life, I’ve tried, but she is not listening or perhaps doesn’t understand. I have to let it out somewhere, so this letter is brutally honest of what I think and I would like to say, which I don’t dare in real life.

“Dear Mom,

Being creative doesn’t mean money. Of course I love the luxury, but I already have that in my life, I’m living in Los Angeles, the entertainment capitol of the world, surrounded with palm trees and sunny weather. I love this life.

Unfortunately, you are not able to see the beauty. Every time when you come here, you’re not present. There were bits and pieces that you let me realize how powerful I am, when you were here, but that goes away when you’re trying to control everything.

The concept of money is also being misinterpreted. It is a tool, made by the system, to get products, travel and all the things we would like. In essence it is paper. I am choosing my time, to spend it wisely and being creative.

Smart work, is better than hard work. I’ve listened to you, because I respect you as a mother and three years ago you were financing my study. I listened and lost everything.

Now my dad is investing in our company, in our creativity. He understands that it takes time to build up a company, to build up a name, especially with integrity. Quality takes time.

It is unfortunate that you look to other people mom and don’t realize your own blessings. Perhaps you claim it, but you’re constantly checking people out on what’s app, I mean honestly there are better ways to spend your time. I’m not judging, but don’t compare. Going out clubbing with someone who has a porsche, looking at that person thinking, ‘how come they have it and I don’t’, is not a great metaphor to live life. I mean she is going out clubbing, no judgement, but usually that is done when we don’t want to hear out inside voice and occupy it with outside noise.

And then, you have the capacity to help us, you want to help us, because you did it, but you are questioning and take my whole confidence away.

No, I don’t want to create a family of my own, that typical picture, husband, children etc. I have my own family already, my parents and my sister. Why in the world would you take that away? Because you are surrounding yourself with those people.

You said that you always wanted to go to a foreign country and visit your children there. Well, we are here, not in a small city, but Los Angeles, what is your problem?

Seriously, dad is normal and loyal, he has ambition, but somehow you’re not accepting the easy approach of life: just being. Let it happen. What will happen, will happen and cannot be stopped from happening.

This is destiny. I like to provide for people in a large way with my creativity. I like that. This is what I love.

I respect myself as an artist and I’m not defined by the numbers. That is the old way of thinking, this is the new generation. You can sell things for money, anything, no, integrity is important, even when it means starting from scratch. I’m saying it, because I have done it.

Foundation should be build with quality, once that is build there is no looking back, God has got my back now. Amen

Appreciate tranquility

Perhaps the turbulence in my life was to teach me, to appreciate tranquility. Appreciate going with the flow. Investing in myself, my health. I have a very peaceful life, with culinary food.

Everything is fine, it’s all good. every experience, all comes down to the same thing: peace. Doing the work, create, all with patience, love and care.

I never stopped. I always did something. I always kept going. In that, I was persistent. This is not my masterplan, this is the plan of God.

It is all about taking initiative. Creating, that is the centerpiece.

Clutter free, that’s what I’m looking for. I just went outside, to walk in nature. I realized that I’m already there, where I wanted to be. I’ve arrived. The view, the palmtrees. I just have to remind myself my eyes that I already have everything and appreciate nature.

I constantly looked at the screen. Trying to find something. Watched movies, interviews, magazines. I’m fed up digesting information. I want to create. It’s really that simple. Create. Doing the work, make my art.

One might ask, what’s the purpose of getting up early, what’s the purpose of going outside. I used to ask that on a frequent basis, especially in high school. After that period I started my life. I’m living the life.

Everything works counter intuitive. Logic says what’s the point of walking in nature. There is. It reminds me why I’m here, how far I’ve come, it gives me strength. Even when it means for half n hour or fifteen minutes, it works wonders.

I used to go to a lof of events, workshops, free festivals, all for networking. With some, I learned something, but most of the time, it was clutter. It’s been 5.5 years since I’ve been living here. I know now why those events are free. Marketing. It’s okay, I’ve gained experience, but it shouldn’t be in expense of my focus. There are so many ways that lead to Rome. Everybody has their own way. I have my own, with simplicity.

Giving art, making ,creating art is so important. A gift that needs to be shared. It is all about taking initiative. Creating, that is the centerpiece.