What gives me rest? To have something of my own. To provide for me and my family, hmm, but many have that goal.
I was sitting on the balcony, looking at the poolview, drinking my coffee. Remembering hawaii, waking up at 6am, looking at the ocean, there is a lot of tranquility. My outside circumstances are tranquil. This is what I wanted.
I have to confess, that these past few weeks, there was a lot of turbulence going on inside of me. I was comparing, only talking about what I don’t want, no positive outlook, focusing on mistakes, looking at other people, how far they are, are they ahead?
When I was at the other apartment for years, I realized something. I basically didn’t have a kitchen, we bought an electric stove, with two pits to warm the pan on, the washing machine didn’t clean the clothes properly, the elevator was a hassle, leakage, mold, outside noise, there was so much going on, I couldn’t dare to complain ironically. I focused on my work and appreciated life.
I’m living at the best unit, awesome apartment, everything is clean, I earned this place, tranquil and luxury again. I must not forget what I’ve been through, it was a stepping stone of inner rest.
I already have everything, I just couldn’t see it.
This is a commitment to myself to just focus on my track, my needs and wants. There is no point to see who’s ahead or not. If I want to be on top, have complete monopoly, I should go and reach for another planet, where no one is there, must me on every magazine. One person to read it, just me.
What would I do if I was on a different planet? I would litterly want to enlighten planet earth. Planet earth is a beautiful planet. beautiful ocean, nature, delicious food. I would enlighten the planet and share my positivity, my enthousiasm, my knowledge that I have acquired.
Ho w can I enlighten the planet, I’m a spec in the universe, but how can I make the most out of this life? I am a human, I cam bound to make mistakes, that is okay, it really doesn’t matter as long as I’m trying. As long as I do my past.
Yes, I wanted all eyes on me, especially when I see people with no intention of ‘helping other’s getting a high appraisal, what am I doing then?
This life is tranquil, it is people’s choice to be fooled, but it’s there choice. Who am I to determine if someone is going the right or wrong way? that’s not up to me. If I want change, I have to take my step.
I woke up early today, I see what I have. I have a lot. My diamonds are my parents and sister. If I can buy a beautiful, big sofa, where I can sit with my whole family watching Lucy show, that would be priceless. I’m 27. When I was 21, I thought I should have started earlier. How naive, I started at a perfect age.
When I was studying I said, I have to complete it, so I can go to Dubai and live there. I live in LA now, perfect spot.
I became the best, top student of the class, without wanting it. I just did my work. I’m not here to be the best, it doesn’t work for me.